Prioritise your family

Arthur Marara Motivation for Success
“Families are the compass that guides us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.” (Brad Henry). A lot of has been said and written about success, but little mention has been had to the importance of a family in success. We all come from somewhere we can call “family” and some of us actually have our own families. I am going to generously look at the importance of family in general in our success. The sad part is that a lot of families are collapsing today, and we have increases in delinquency.

It is thus important for people to have a look at themselves and look at what they are doing to reduce the problem. One of the solutions is simply by working on your family. A lot of people have succeeded as business people, yet failed as husbands or wives at home. Some people have succeeded in shepherding other people at work, but have failed to lead their own families.

You can even succeed at political level, but fail in your own family. This Easter season, many people will be travelling to visit families, and friends, while others will be attending church conferences. This week, I felt impressed on my heart to share some thoughts on the importance of valuing family as a key component of success.

A healthy family matters

A dysfunctional family will follow you directly or indirectly in your business. You can never perform very well in your work or business if your marriage or family is in a state of disarray.

The bulk of the times the workplace is the opportunity for most people to vent the anger that would have been accumulated at home. Many employers are often faced with employees who come to work depressed, and when you ask them, you will discover that there is something that has been happening at home. A happy family or marriage can also be a source of inspiration and motivation to excel in business. Invest time in working on your family so that you bring up a unified unit. Work on your marriage so that it can be what you want to see it. “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother” [Theodore Hesburgh]. The reverse is true as well. How healthy is your family?

Time will never be enough
“You will never find time for anything. You must make it.” [Charles Buxton]. Never be too busy for your own family. There is in point winning the whole world, but losing your own family or the very people that you spend time working for. It defeats the whole purpose.

There are certain people who are very good at creating time for strangers when they cannot create time for their own children and spouses. This is why some people can save other people’s children from falling but lose their own children because of not giving them attention. The family unit has suffered tremendously through being busy. You might not be married, you still come from a family, make time for those people you call family. It might not necessarily be the whole day, but it is the effort and the thought that counts. A day has 24 hours, a week has 168 hours. My question is; how much time do you have with your own children per day or per week? Do you have time to listen to their concerns? Spend quality time with your children.

Be involved in the life of your children. Do not be a stranger to your own children all in the name of business. Create time for them, assist them in their home works, take them out for a walk. Use technology to connect with your children in the event that you might be away from them.

Take time to video call; telephone them to show that you are there. Your presence as a parent is a great source of inspiration. Diarise special functions for your children, sports days, consultation days, open days and make an effort to be there. There is no amount of money that can compensate for your absence as a parent or guardian.

There is no voice that replaces yours; there is no touch that replaces yours as a parent. If you are too busy for your own children, someone will create time for them and instill values that they deem appropriate. There is no parent who teaches his or her child how to access pornographic sites, but we find children having access to some of these sites. There are always sources of values, but you need to take your stand and inculcate values you need to see in your children.

Do not be double faced
Some people are angels at church but devils at home. This is the reason why some people do not have the respect of their families in public, because they are merely hypocritical. The face that you show to strangers must be the same face that you show to your own family. Be consistent. How much respect do you have from your own family or from your partner if you are married?

Be a hero/heroine at home
There are people who are known as Chief-givers at church or in the community in general but they cannot even look after their own families. If you share my faith, the words of Paul might be relevant to you; ““But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (NKJV).

The Message bible offers a contemporary exposition, “Anyone who neglects to care for family members in need repudiates the faith.

That’s worse than refusing to believe in the first place.” There is nothing wrong with giving at church but we can bring the church into disrepute when we neglect our responsibilities at home.

There are a lot of people who can give large sums of money to strangers when their own families are languishing in poverty. You can never solve all the problems but you can do your part and make a difference.

Overcome hypocrisy
There are people who buy expensive caskets for family members they never cared for during their lifetime. Sometimes the caskets can even be more expensive than the houses that the deceased resided in during their lifetime. This applies to several people including Christians who even stand before congregations to preach. There are people who only appear to have relatives when they died, some of them you never saw during their lifetime.

Empower your family
It is good to give people money but is better to give them a seed. You also want people to be able to be financially independent, and this can only happen when you give them the keys to being productive. Send them to school if possible, motivate them to discover their potential and sometimes encourage them to enrol for short courses which will enable them to discover ways of being productive with their lives.

Marriage does not subtract from the duty to support our families. The trend with most people is to abandon their families and neglect the duty to look after them. Responsibilities will always increase with marriage but there is need to sacrifice and contribute to the best of your ability.

Some of the conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughter’s-in-law arise from purely maintenance. Some men tend to ‘forget’ their parents when they get married. Regardless of who we marry we always need to remember that our spouses did not fall from heaven, they have families and they need our attention as well.

Join me on Star FM on Wednesdays (09:30am-10:00am) for some moments of inspiration on the Breeze with Tariro and Iyati.

Arthur Marara is an Attorney, Author and Speaker. He is also the author of the Personal Development Toolkit, Keys to Financial Freedom, The Power Within, and Keys to Effective Time Management. Send your feedback to [email protected] or Like his page on Facebook, or Whatsapp: +263 772 467 255 or visit www.arthurmarara.com.