adminIt is a biblical relationship with its genesis in Cana in Galilee where Jesus officiated at a wedding. Accordingly the Holy Bible prescribes that when the two marry they are no longer two but one in flesh and in spirit.
Right from the onset, marriage has been regarded as an affection moulded and solemnised relationship guided by such virtues as generosity, care for each other, kindness, happiness, mercy, love, respect, unity, trust and forgiveness among family members. Marriage insists on tolerance, submissiveness, long-suffering endurance and faithfulness.
Acting responsibly is also one of the critical prerequisites in a marriage relationship.
Marriage through statutory instruments has been legally institutionalised. Marriages can either be registered or unregistered customary marriages. The couple can voluntarily register its marriage under the Marriage Act Chapter 5:11 or under customary marriage which provides for polygamy. Marriages registered under Chapter 5:11 do not provide for polygamy and any couple that indulges in a relationship other than the one it is registered under is deemed to be promiscuous and in violation of the law.
If media reports are anything to go by then the marriage institution is besieged by a legion of virulent forces threatening to tear it apart. According to these reports, infidelity, irresponsibility, disrespect, treachery and dishonesty are some of the chief factors seemingly pulling marriages apart. Many couples have become hapless victims (or partakers) of extra-marital relationships and the media is awash with reports of married men and women who are caught red-handed on their matrimonial beds sharing the forbidden fruit with a “small house”.
Society is now infested with the daring “thigh vendors” and some men who get trapped in the nectar are those wedded under Chapter 5:11, much to the demise of the marriage institution.
“Small houses” are thriving and married men have been fingered for sustaining the welfare and pleasure of these new, detestable institutions. Overly, infidelity, mistrust irresponsibility, the absence of love all lead to the total collapse of the marriage.
Although I don’t have statistics, I think nowadays the total number of divorce cases per week by far surpasses the number of those who are wedding weekly.
The results of a collapsing marriage are traumatic and always too gnashing to contemplate. Often, collapsing marriages go with domestic fighting and in some cases the ends are fatal and gruesome for the couple and children. Children are worst affected. They are used as pawns as they are sometimes stabbed, shot or poisoned to death by parents or left to wander alone in a harsh world.
In a bizarre case of a collapsing marriage, last year an estranged woman doused herself and her two children in petrol before setting their hut on fire. Many more tragedies of this nature have been reported.
Collapsing marriages disturb families, especially children, the bulk of whom end up in the streets where they find their final “shelter” in the company of hardened criminals, glue-sniffing ruffians, prostitutes and other social outcasts.
Collapsing marriages sometimes lead to bitter estate wrangles that often deprive some dependants, particularly children, of shelter and security. When marriages break down some children move to live with legal guardians, some of whom might be bad guardians. Children later learn to live in hostility and abuse that bears a life-long scar.
In light of these obnoxious effects of marriage breakdown, mitigatory strategies directed towards saving marriages are urgently required. Perhaps the issue of women’s rights must be reviewed especially those that seem to precipitate divorce. Collaborative efforts by aunties, uncles, counsellors, home-maker groups, churches and courts to educate couples on how to sustain marriages can also go a long way towards preserving the institution.
It has been observed that some couples get into marriage too soon and are later overwhelmed by the challenges it can pose. Teaching by relatives, professionals and social institutions must emphasise endurance and maturity.
Of course people enter marriage by choice but it defeats comprehension to note that nowadays, youths as young as 18 opt to engage each other and wed. These youths must be taught that marriage is not a honeymoon and maturity is necessary before one gets married. These infatuation-driven relationships should never be solemnised as marriages because there will always be problems in future.
I further propose that respect for courts must be emphasised. It would be a little disrespectful to the courts by couples who “marry” this week and return to the same courts the following week to file divorce papers. Courts must never be places for kidding couples and harsh penalties must be considered for those who seem to “abuse” the courts.
Lovers must never hurry into a wedding before they fully appreciate each other and what marriage entails.
On another note, very deterrent penalties should be considered for any small house caught with a married man or woman fully knowing the man or woman’s marital status. Most small houses seem to engage in affairs fully knowing that the man or woman he/she is dating is married.
The laws must be strict and the culprits must receive harsh reprisals if these immoral practices are to diminish.
Marriage is a sacrosanct institution ordained by God. Extramarital affairs, irresponsibility, mistrust and immaturity are all threatening to tear it apart.
Maturity before marriage and effective counselling by parents, churches, legal bodies and other social organisations and harsh reprisals from courts for those who seem to disrespect the courts may go a long way towards ameliorating the factors that are threatening the marriage institution.
Online Reporter