kuloba uCornelius Luphahla
MTHWAKAZI omuhle angithi abadala babethi akuyiwa nganxanye kungemgigo nje. Bayazi-ke ukuthi bayabe bejongeni lapha nanko phela basiqinisa lesisaga saze satholwa layithi esiphila kulezinsuku. Lapha ngijonge ukuchaza kuzulu ukuthi imbilaphi isola isilonda mdabuko.
Ngamazwi la kangijonganga ukuxoxa ngembilaphi lesilonda ngokwakho kodwa yimbilaphi lesilonda mdabuko hatshi lokhu esikubona ngamehlo nje. Kunjalo indlovu iyawiswa yibunyonyo into encane edelelekayo njalo.
Kule iviki ngithe sike sincokole kancane ngendaba engavamanga ukucazululwa ikakhulu ngabesilisa ngoba besesaba ukuthi mhlawumbe kuzathiwa abasomadoda aqotho. Lokhu kusuka kubachithele imizi njengoba abadala babengasomi nxa bethi ongakhaliyo ufela embelekweni.
Indaba le ngeyokuthi chaza ukuba kungani amanye amanina etshiya umendo ikakhulu abasasebatsha? Lokhu kudalwa yizizatho ezehlukeneyo kodwa kukhona njalo injongo nsika yalokhu. Kwesinye isikhathi okubalekisa amakhosikazi emendweni yikungaziphathi kwamadoda.
Amanye amadoda athetheyo athi engathatha alunge okweminyaka emibili kuthi ngemva kwalokho ahle avuke ubunke bakithi. Nango eqala ukugila imikhuba ongazange wayenza ngesikhathi esancenga ikhosikazi lakhe lisaseyintombi. Wenzenje uthi engasuka ekuseni aphenduke phakathi kwamabili kungaziwa ukuthi ubekuphi kwelizwe.
Nxa umkakhe ezama ukubuzisisa ukuthi ubengaphi abe seluthezile olulenkume. Ahle amsukele ambhuqe kuze kuhele kozeleyo. Kusasa njalo uzawuphinda umkhuba wakhe lapho abuye sokusile kuthi ensukwini ezizayo acine sebuya ngemva kwamalanga amabili. Lapho-ke umntanabantu aze abone kungcono ukubuyela ngakibo.
Isimanga yikuthi nxa sokunjalo indoda le isala sikhala sizama ukuyancenga kodwa kwehlule ngoba kakho ongakumela ukuhlala ebhulwa okwengungu yabeTshabi. Indoda le nxa singasela khosikazi uhle uyibone ngokungasahlelekanga kukanti umzenzi kakhalelwa kukhalelwa umenziwa.
Okunye njalo okuchitha imitshado ezindlini lapha yindlala ehlasela abesifazana ngenxa yabomkabo abangakwazi ukubayabela okubafaneleyo ngesikhathi esifaneleyo. Lapha-ke kuyingozi enkulu ngoba nxa ikhosikazi lingasuthi liyakhanya lanxa lizihambela kanye lendlela eliyabe liziphatha ngayo.
Noma nje lingaqinisela lizama ukugcina umendo walo kodwa amanye amadoda agangileyo athi engalibona ukuthi kukhona elikuswelayo ahle alisukele alithembise ukuyifihla indaba le ingabonwa muntu. Njengoba indlala le ihlasela inhliziyo kanye lengqondo abanye bahle bathatheke bazilahlele kwamanye amadoda noma bethethwe.
Kwakube kuhle nxa inina leli lithole indoda engenelisiyo layo ukulisuthisa, kodwa nxa kuthe kwaya ngasifudlana lathola indoda ekwaziyo ukwabela abesifazana ngemfanelo lapho ihle iwuchithe umuthi inkonyane. Yikho-ke othola inina leli selingasamhloniphi umkalo sokuhlalwa ngokungezwani. Ngesikhatshana nje umuzi uhle uchitheke kodwa isimanga yikuthi nxa umuzi suchithekile idlalicatsha leli lihle linyamalale litshiye inina libambe iziboya.
Ngalokhu-ke bakaMthwakazi ukuze ikhosikazi lisuthe kufanele indoda ingaze yajaha nxa siphekela unkosikazi wayo.
Okokuqala kufanele izitshele engqondweni yayo ukuthi inina leli ngelayo ngakho konke ezakwenza ilemvumo yokukwenza. Emdlalweni lo kufanele njalo indoda ibekwazi ukuthi kuyaxoxwa phela njalo kufanele ibekwazi ukuthi indawo elithi lingayithinta yenze unkosikazi wayo lifike masinya emdangweni yiphi?
Lokhu ingakubona ngezenzo zomkayo kumbe ngokuxoxisana ibuza ingaze yaba lenhloni lakho. Okunye njalo akuthi nxa uyindoda lisasemdlalweni lo uke ume kancane nxa usizwa ukuthi selidumela emansumpeni ukuze lifikisane emdangweni lomunye wakho. Nxa sumile lapha ususe ingqondo yakho kulokhu okwenzayo uzame ukuyikhulula kancane uze uyiphendukise nxa subona ukuthi sokunganeno.
Kwabanathayo kuvame ukuba lula ngoba bengavele banathe utshwala bayawasuthisa nti amakhosikazi abo sibili. Kuthi nxa kusisa abonakale ngokuvuka ethanyela iguma bakithi ezihlabelela ingoma emnandi noma uzabe ungezwa inhlamvu zayo. Lokuhamba kwakhe umuntu wakhona kuyabe kukhanya sibili ukuthi usuthi. Lokhu kwenziwa ngabanatha mbijana hatshi labo abadakwa bafikele ukulala kuze kuse nsukuzonke. Laba-ke akuvamanga ukuthi baluphale lamakhosikazi abo.
Kukhona njalo izihlahla ezisebenza ukubamba indoda ukuthi ingaze yagijima kakhulu nxa besemdlalweni lo funa ifike masinyane emdangweni itshiye unkosikazi wayo endleleni. Izihlahla lezi ungakazinathi uqala ngokunatha iqanda eliluhlaza. Ungazinatha lezizihlahla-ke noma kutheni liyafikisana lomkakho kumbe akuqalele.
Asixoxeni nanku okuvezwe ngabanye abalandela uSigiya ngoludala
Mlobi, siyabonga imfundiso yakho osipha yona. Mina ngingumama oleminyaka engu-35, ngilohlupho lokuthi umkami kangisuthisi emambathweni ngakho ngidinga iseluleko ukuthi umkami engenza njani ukuze angisuthise. Beauty Moyo, Gwanda.
Siyabonga mlobi inkuthazo yakho ngezamasiko mina engikucelayo yikuthi usikhumbuze njalo ngokukhuliswa kwamantombazana. Nomathemba Ndlovu, Matopo.
Mina ngithanda ukubonga kakhulu indaba osilobela zona eziyimvuselelo yobuzwe bethu. Mina isicelo sami yikuthi uqhubekele phambili ukhuthaze abesilisa ukuthi banakekele omkabo emizini yabo ukuze ingachitheki.
Okunengi ungaxhumana lomlobi ku-0775 722 298 kumbe i-whatsapp ku-0737 771 317.




