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Hi Sis Noe
I AM a 22-year-old man. I’m getting worried about myself, I started proposing when I was 16 but no girl accepts my proposals. Is it a curse? What is the problem? — Please help.
Reply
It is not a curse but it is definitely a problem. At your age you should have a girlfriend or an ex-girlfriend. The key is to learn from your mistakes. First, you need to run a quick self-diagnostis. As much as we may not want to admit it, the initial attraction that two people have for each other is based solely on physical attributes. She may end up falling in love with you because of your rapier sharp wit or because you are always there for her emotionally, but none of these things matter if you have breath that could knock over a horse when you first say hello. Check to make sure that your clothes are in reasonable condition, that you aren’t giving off any offending odour and that your teeth are brushed before you even think of approaching a potential love interest. Learning how to approach a girl means being able to see your own flaws before she does, you also need to be yourself.
Honesty is the best policy when it comes to relationships. Lying may be tempting but the best tip for how to approach a girl is to be you, not someone else. Finally, don’t be afraid to close the deal. It can be a bit scary to have to make that final leap, especially if the conversation is going well, but if she walks out of your life, there is a chance you may never see her again. The worst thing that can happen is that she says no. You would simply smile, thank her for chatting and walk away. If you are going to approach girls on a regular basis, you are going to have to get used to hearing no, so don’t blow a potential date because you were afraid of rejection. Learning how to approach a girl means learning how to take risks and accepting their outcomes, even when things don’t work out.
Hi Sis Noe.
I am 30, what can I do to encourage my male organ? It’s so small that I can’t satisfy my wife. — Help.
Reply
It’s not about the size but about how you use it. One workman can have the best tools but fail to produce a good product while another with poor tools can do wonders. You need to be confident, do not let the size of your penis stop you from firing from all cylinders. You need to spend more time on romance and less time on intercourse. Romance is a winner. A lot of women get satisfied only after they have been romanced for some time. Do that; do not rush to plunge in. Sex is not an event, it’s a process. It’s not a 100-metre dash, it’s a marathon.
Hi Sis Noe
I’m 28; she is my boss but wants to have sex with me because her husband is not performing well in bed. I’m married, how I can avoid her? — Worried.
Reply
Avoiding her is impossible because she is your boss; you need to tread carefully because offending her might get you fired. You need to go easy on her. Tell her calmly that she is perfect, and fun, but she is always going to be the best boss in the world. Tell her you love your wife and that you would never do anything to destroy the sanctity of your marriage. If she persists you will have no choice but to tell her flat out that you are not interested because you don’’t want to hurt her and to destroy your employer-employee relationship.
Hi Sis Noe.
I’m a girl aged 21. I’m dating a guy aged 28 and he is HIV positive. He told me after two weeks of dating. I love this guy a lot and he loves me too. He wants to marry me and he said we can use protection and adopt a baby. A few years back my mother took me to a prophet and I was told I would not carry a baby. — Please assist.
Reply
Today many HIV negative people are having relationships with positive people and that is a welcome development as it shows that stigmatisation is on the decrease. You can have a relationship with this man and you can get married to him but have you really thought it out? Will you be able to withstand you parents’ and relatives’ disapproval? Are you going to stick by him when his health starts to suffer? Do you really want an adopted baby, not your own flesh and blood? Are you really sure that his status is not an issue? If you pass the self examination then I see no reason why you should not have a future with the man you love. But make sure you use condoms consistently because we wouldn’t want you to get infected. But you should know that condoms are only effective if used properly and if they don’’t break. They can also get invisible micro-tears through which the virus can pass. While condoms are better than nothing, they are not perfect. Looks are fleeting, HIV is forever. But, it’’s your choice. As for the prophet I have no answer to that. Only God knows.
Hi Sis Noe
My guy wants to ejaculate on the mouth of my vagina. Can I be pregnant? I am a virgin. — Concerned.
Reply
There is a danger that sperm might trickle into your vagina so do not even think about attempting it. What would have happened for him to ejaculate on the mouth of your vagina? Is it going to happen when you sleep with him or when you have thigh sex? If I was you I would prefer not to find out whether I could get pregnant or not. If I was you I would keep my virginity until I am married. There is a lot of sex occurring these days and that disgusts me. Make me proud by remaining a virgin.
Hi Sis Noe
I lost my virginity last week. After that my left side of the body was painful. Can you please tell me what happens after breaking your virginity? — Curious.
Reply
Some women have stomach pains after losing their virginity, it’s normal. It might be because your body has undergone a major hormonal shift. Your body, basically, can go completely haywire after your first time. Sex indicates to the body that you want to have babies and the pain you having might be a sign of that. But if the pain persists go to the doctor.
Hi Sis Noe
I have a problem with my vagina because white stuff comes out. It’s not liquid neither is it solid and I’m shy to ask my friends about it. — worried.
Reply
The white discharge is a way for your vagina to clean itself out so you don’t have to worry it is ok and normal. The white discharge is a combination of vaginal moisture, skin cells, and perspiration. As long as it does not smell bad, itch inside, or come out in large clumps, you are fine. But if it does then you should see your doctor.
Hi Sis Noe
I am a girl aged 20 and every time I have sex with my boyfriend who is 21 I bleed. Do I have a problem and what causes it? — Worried.
Reply
I’m sorry to hear about your experiences with bleeding during sex. It can feel scary and, yes, sometimes embarrassing for some women to notice, especially when they have no idea why it’s happening to them. That said vaginal bleeding is nothing you need to feel bad or embarrassed about, as bodies are quirky sometimes — and, for all their oddities — they are often very good at letting us know when something may be wrong and needs to be checked out by a doctor. In my opinion, vaginal bleeding is always worth mentioning to a doctor even though it’s not always a sign of a serious medical condition. Bleeding from the vagina either during or just after sexual intercourse is never normal and should always be checked by a doctor. A variety of vaginal, cervical or uterine conditions can lead to bleeding from sex, such as common inflammation, various sexually transmitted diseases or abnormal growths that can include cancer.
Hi Sis Noe
I am a man aged 21 and there is a girl at my church who I really like. She has a decent character and friendly too. The problem is I don’t know how to tell her the way I feel because she might turn me down. Please help me, I am having sleepless nights. — Worried.
Reply
Approaching a girl is one of the toughest jobs a man faces in the quest to get a date. The very thought of approaching a girl arises several questions such as the fear of rejection, the fear of response etc. You just never know whether the girl you are trying to approach would accept or reject you. But there is a certain way to approach a girl which ensures a positive response most of the time. Read on to find out what this way is and how you can approach a girl and get the desired response. Make eye contact — One of the major reasons why most guys get rejected when they approach a girl is that they are not able to make perfect eye contact.
Girls are always looking for confident men to approach them. Girls are very quick to catch a man’s confidence and would reject you just on the basis of your level of confidence. A slight smile — this is the best way to figure out whether the girl is interested or not and would she like to be approached. When you pass a smile at a random girl she would most probably smile back at you if she is ready to be approached. If she has a blank look on her face when you smile at her or maybe just looks away as if trying to ignore then she is not willing to be approached by you and you should avoid a possible rejection and move on to someone else. Positive body language is very important in order to approach a girl effectively and get the desired response. Most guys tend to approach girls with dropped shoulders looking all nervous. Once a girl senses that you are nervous with your approach she is most likely to reject you as girls only prefer confident males, not nervous ones.
Hi Sis Noe
What can I do if I am being sexually abused by the only and trusted guardian? I am a teenager. — Abused.
Reply
You should get the guardian arrested because what s/he did was the greatest betrayal, s/he does not deserve to be protected because s/he broke the trust you had in her. S/he deserves to be behind bars. Do not think about it, just go to the police and spill the beans. If you don’t they will continue abusing you and that will have a negative effect on your life in the present and in future.
Bongani Ndlovu