adminThis often happens when a woman dies while living with a man who would not have paid lobola for her. The Gobadema squabble started following the death of Thamsanqa Ndlovu’s live-in girlfriend, Christine Ndlovu (21), originally from Mberengwa. He had stayed with her for two years without the “knowledge” of her parents. The two had a four-month-old baby. Christine died after a short illness at Gwanda Provincial Hospital.
Her parents demanded $40 from their in-laws just to speak to them (isivulamlomo) and went on to demand 10 beasts before her burial could take place. It is reported that they also demanded that if their in-laws had no cattle they should pay $5 000 and cater for the cost of feeding the mourners.
Although there are differences on how tribes conduct the negotiation of lobola, in the case of the unemployed Thamsanqa (23) there appears to be no justification for his in-laws to demand the exorbitant retribution. This is so because their daughter died of natural causes not through callous means like being murdered at the hands of their son-in-law.
Even in instances when a man kills his wife, where the murderer’s relatives would be paying the “damages” as a way of appeasing the dead person’s spirit, the demands should not be exorbitant as the onus is on the courts to mete out appropriate sanctions on the murderer.
Traditionally lobola was paid as a token of appreciation to seal a relationship between the man and the woman’s families, but the coming of the “cash economy” has seen it becoming some sort of “business” to enrich the woman’s family.
Observations from the above incident and many others that have been reported shows that just like the lobola which has, arguably, now been commercialised, the death of a woman whose husband would not have paid the bride price has also become an opportunity for her family to make money.
This is so because of the inflated demands by the late woman’s family perhaps as a way of compensating for the mutual respect and dignity that would be non-existent between the two families when the other party was still alive.
“The demand for compensation by some grieved families should not be meant to punish their in-laws but a way of appeasing the spirit of the deceased who would have been greatly wronged and neglected by her spouse by not paying the bride price.
“In other words the payment is not only a retribution for the unjust and ruthless neglect of the woman when she was still alive but also serves as an insurance cover against possible future unusual spiritual attacks from the ‘angry’ dead woman,” said Mr Abel Moyo from Nkulumane 12.
For most people who believe in the power of avenging spirits (ngozi/ingozi) the issue of compensation is done to appease the spirit of the victim who would have died.
Traditionally in cases where a woman died before her husband settles the pride price, it is believed that misfortune would befall her own children especially her married daughters who would not experience peace in their marriages.
Mrs Nollen Mtisi from Nketa said although it is cultural for every man who gets married to pay lobola, it should not be corrupted especially upon the death of his wife as the value of a human being cannot be seen in monetary terms.
“It is distressing to note that some parents have turned the whole issue into an income generating venture,” observed Mrs Mtisi.
Historian and social commentator, Mr Pathisa Nyathi said the issue of demanding excessive compensation by parents especially after the death of their daughter before her husband pays lobola varies with culture.
Although he condemned the element of “greediness” by some parents, he said it was a clear abuse of culture. At the same time, he added that it was uncultured for a man to stay with a woman as his wife without paying lobola as doing so is tantamount to exposing her societal scorn.
“This issue varies with culture but regardless of one’s culture for a man to stay with a woman without paying anything to her parents to formalise their marriage is culturally unacceptable.
“That is why they end up falling prey to people who abuse culture by asking exorbitant compensation when their spouses pass on,” he said.
Ms Evelyne Maphosa from Romney Park said the demands were commendable as they remove tensions between the two families although she said people should not abuse the negotiations.
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