Stop fishing for people’s approval

Glen Dliwayo
THOSE who use computer and mobile applications will be very aware that almost every app asks the user to leave a rating. Most developers ask for the rating because they want to get feedback from the user on their application and also because they want to use the rating to attract new users.

Most people will first check a rating of an application before they download it or use it.
Because of this reason, most application developers are so keen on getting good ratings because they translate into more users or downloads.

Unfortunately, most people are also wired to always either ask for a rating or leave a rating whenever they interact with people.
There are people who are always in the habit of categorising, compartmentalising, judging and rating people. They are so much infected by the rating syndrome that they think their opinion of people matter the most and that it will carry the day.

Your creator is not keen on receiving any feedback on you from anyone at all, even those who are said to be the most important in this world. Their rating is not welcome to Him and it does not matter at all to Him. He knows exactly how he created you and why and that is precisely why he is not eager to receive any feedback from the people who see you.

The mistake that the human race will forever be liable to commit is using people’s current circumstance to rate them.
Reality invariably proves that your present state does not cast your future in stone. People never learn though and that is why they keep making the same mistake of rating and compartmentalising people using their present circumstance.

Rating people in itself though is a manifestation of a psychological problem in the ones who practise it. It is a problem that requires attention and help depending on how deep it is. If you find yourself making statements to the effect of rating people you need to seriously examine yourself and especially observe how your mind works.

Being aware of the existence of such people means that you have to create a firewall for them because their words can have a negative effect on your life or the way people perceive you. You need to be self-aware and assertive against the advances of people rating.

Whenever someone tries to judge you or rate you in any way that’s the time you really need to assert yourself and let them know that no rating is required for you.

Unfortunately, most of the time we are the very reason why some people persistently rate us. Whenever we are unsure of who we are and where we are going we open room for those awful people.

Feelings of doubt and insecurity will always attract naysayers to your life. They can almost pick up the scent trail left by those who are unsure of themselves and that is why they torment them the most. People do not rate those who exhibit high levels of self-awareness.

Some people actually invite ratings on themselves because they are so thirsty for the approval of other people on their life. The more they are rated by other people the more they seek the approval of people because they need some people who will tell them their value.

Unfortunately, no one can ever affirm you better than you can affirm yourself. Learn to affirm yourself and to esteem yourself in the way that you should.

Stop fishing for people’s approval. Their rating of you will never measure up to who you really are becoming. The only person who really has an idea of what you are capable of becoming is none other than you. Exposing yourself to the comments of others before you are sure of yourself is similar to transplanting a seedling from a nursery before its time into the garden where it is exposed to harsh conditions. It will either not survive or it will have stunted growth.

The reason is because it was exposed before it was ready. Do not go around seeking people’s approval especially if you do not yet have confidence in yourself. Their comments will either kill you or stunt your growth.

You need to be able to filter people’s opinion about you and not accept everything else they say. Their rating of you is not your reality. It almost counts for nothing that is why it is not required. If their silly judgments get to you at times it is necessary to assert yourself and let them know that there is no rating required at all.

You do not need any one’s rating at all!
Till next week, God bless you all.
Ciao . . .

The writer is a motivational teacher. He can be contacted on [email protected]