adminCollen Takaza
University of Zimbabwe
Single-parenting is becoming a rapidly growing trend in both the developing and developed countries. The major causes are divorce, death, separation, early pregnancy and not being married.
Research shows that single parenting has major implications on the child’s emotional, social, behavioural, mental, financial, and psychological outcomes. Studies carried out by various researchers reveal that single parenting to a larger extent militates against the academic performance of children particularly in primary and secondary schools.
The traditional family structure where both parents exist or stay together ideally, provides a sense of security and stability that is appropriate for children. A collapse of this pivotal family structure eventually causes children and their capacity to function ordinarily or academically to drastically drop.
Single parenting differs from dual parenting in a myriad of ways but the most common difference is the way the parent interacts with the child.
In families with both parents, the burden of running the home and making household decisions is borne by both the father and mother, a situation that does not obtain in a single-parent home.
Children in single-parent families may have more duties and responsibilities around the home at times from an early age because of the absence of the other parent.
Single parents face multiple obstacles in their endeavour to put their children through education. They face double responsibilities that require additional time, attention, and resources which may not be sufficient.
For female single parents, the situation becomes even worse as they face a triple-jeopardy situation — being a woman and being single with meagre resources — coupled with an “unsupportive”, male-dominated society.
Being the only parent can be extremely hectic as one seeks to ensure they provide education, shelter, food, and clothing for their children. Most single parents have ended up being disconnected from their progeny which ultimately impacts the children’s ability to succeed in their academic studies.
A single female parent interviewed noted that the quest to see children through education forces single parents to be away from their children most of the time.
Her socio-economic status in which she lacks adequate resources to support her family, she explained, causes her to go to faraway places in an effort to help her family.
She explains: “My husband left me a few years ago. I had no job and with three children in need of educational support, I decided to start cross-border trading.
“Most of the time I am away from home. This experience is harrowing and traumatising for I cannot at all afford to spend any reasonable time with my children.”
It has been observed that economically disadvantaged parents struggle to meet the cost of education of their children at higher levels and consequently the children do not work to their fullest potential.
Most single parents have to sacrifice their own liberties to see their children through education. At times this pressure weighs them down to the extent of suffering from depression and other health-threatening complications due to the effort they put in to help their children complete their education.
With limited time, finances, and availability parents are less likely to give enough or the deserved support their children require in order to perform to the best of their ability.
In some cases, children may literally fail to go beyond primary or ordinary level education. When this happens single parents get distressed and dejected and end up blaming themselves for not doing enough.
Children in most cases require their parents to assist with their homework, attend school meetings and events, having time to visit teachers, and at times accompanying them to school.
The absence of one parent adds the burden of parenting to the one who remains with the family.
A single parent may lack the opportunities to compare ideas and discuss solutions to problems being faced by their child in school.
They also do not have the option to delegate the responsibility for certain decisions to the other parent.
In interviews with single female parents, this writer noted that some of the single parents undertake difficult or risky measures to ensure their children have gone to school.
While most single parents who are not formally employed work hard through cross-border trading, vending, working as domestic helpers, doing laundry work for well-to-do families and practising urban agriculture, the income from these endeavours may not be enough.
Some of the single parents, especially female parents, augment their incomes through commercial sex work. A mother of two this writer spoke to said: “I am friends with ladies who are single and with children.
“Some of the ladies you see vending during the day augment their income through commercial sex work. It is very sad, but that is the truth.
“They do this to pay fees for their children who are in school and to meet other costs such as food and clothing for their children. Sadly some of them have contracted sexually transmitted infections.”
The above explanations describe the agony that single parents — in this case women — go through to meet the cost of the education for their children.
Online Reporter