The art of moving on

Zimbabwe for over five years. During the years of economic downturn banks started retrench­ing and unfortunately my friend got retrenched from his workplace.
I found it a bit ironic because he had a master’s degree in economics and was one of the most educated people in the bank and had more experience than the people who were left in the office.
I found his retrenchment to be unfair but that is a story for another day. With this happening to him, my friend found it really hard to move on with his life.
I used to ask how he was coping and he would always say he was fine. He always sounded happy all the time that I took it for granted that he was truly fine. I was wrong, really wrong!
I didn’t know that my friend had taken this retrenchment really hard. He had applied for a job in different companies but all he received were regrets or the “you are too quali­fied” letters.  Those letters where the ones that stressed him out a lot because everyone knows and believes that education is the key to a better life in this generation we live in.
He later called me in September bid­ding me farewell. I thought he meant he was travel­ling abroad to find a job and I was excited. He assured me that he was travel­ling and it would be a very long time before he contacted me.
So I told him that I would be patient and wait for him. He again emphasised that he just wanted to say goodbye to me.
If I had not been too busy that day l would have realised that it was not an ordinary phone call. A few days later he committed sui­cide. For many months, l struggled and kept blaming myself for his death. I kept recalling that phone call in my head for months and thinking of ways l could have just stopped to really listen to what he was say­ing.
For me moving on then with so much pain in my heart, and with anger and hate towards myself, moving on seemed impossible. But months down the line in the middle of the night I woke up one day tired of the same routine and decided to move on and to try hard enough.
The first step of moving on is learning to let go of what you have lost in order to gain something more of value. Let go of the person who passed away and rejoice their life here on earth.
Let go of that grief and instead embrace joy and happiness into your life. If it is a lost dream let go of that dream that didn’t work out and create another one.
God put you here on earth for a pur­pose; you are not useless but destined for greatness. You will never know all this unless you try. If you have failed some­thing that you have been studying for a year or longer, don’t quit.
Pick yourself up, let go of the past mis­takes and try again until you achieve it. Failure does not define who you are; it is just an obstacle that can be changed to a stepping stone when you decide to try again. If you have been cheated on by someone you love, don’t go out there and look for someone who has the same bad traits as your pre­vious partner, because he/she will surely cheat on you again. Don’t go back to the same person who keeps hurting or abusing you everyday.
Break the cycle, let go and move on. You are precious and a rare jewel. You deserve more in life. Get attracted to dif­ferent people who don’t have the same traits as your previous partner and pray about it because honestly no one is really good at the game of love.
But never giving up on it makes us meet that special someone. If you have been accused and judged wrongly for something you know you never did or said let go and move on. Who are you to try and take revenge on those people? Let God vindicate you. The Bible says noth­ing stays hidden forever, all will be revealed in time.
Many of us try and find someone simi­lar to replace the person who passed away or walked away. That is not moving on but that is staying in the same zone and changing another human being to be what we want him/her to be like.
The second step is forgive and be for­given. Start appreciating the people around and stop longing for the person that is already gone. Most people miss many opportunities this way. Instead of blaming someone for your failure take responsibility, step up and find ways to remedy your previous mistakes and get back on the road of success and try again. And for you who have been broken hearted, who said love was easy and smooth.
Love is like a rose, so beautiful and yet so painful to hold unless the thorns are removed.
Those thorns symbolise the storms in every relationship. It is how you chose to overcome those storms together that determine the relationship.
Never allow yourself to stare too long at the closed door in your life.
Walk away from it and go to the next door that is open and grasp every opportunity that comes your way.
Like one writer said: “Life is not a straight line, it has got its twist and turns that make life more interesting”.
Life is too short so enjoy it.Harare-based Rudo is a motivational writer. Feedback: [email protected]