adminLenox Lizwi Mhlanga
I BOARDED a kombi (mini-bus) from Matsheumhlope to the city centre in Bulawayo the other day. I was desperate to get there fast. You see, when you stay in this part of the city, you just don’t board kombis as a matter of principle.
The reason being that kombi crews are more uncouth than not. Apart from charging you a rand more, they will not travel as far as City Hall which is the most convenient drop off point.
People here prefer private taxis. In fact, “pirate taxi” is the correct nomenclature. They are fast and friendly, never mind the fact that they are plying the route illegally.
To cut a long story short, we all board kombis with a sense of trepidation. They have serious speeding issues. Often, the speed at which they travel does not match the condition of the vehicle. And that of its crew for that matter.
This particular driver is visibly jittery and is speaking in tongues to his indescribably scruffy tout. It sounds something like “amahata jeki” which when translated means police. They could possibly have been high on pot (mbanje), if you ask me.
It does not take us passengers long to discover that they are “dissidents” known in kombi lingua franca as “amadizola.” These are unregistered kombis and will steal any route that is lucrative. Being unregulated, they are death traps, just like this one we are in.
Flying past the first set of traffic lights, I and the rest of the terrified passengers believe we have to say our last prayers. These guys seemed determined that they not be caught. Or so we thought.
We were soon to discover the reason behind the manoeuvre.
After passing glaringly red robots the kombi takes a sudden turn into the now rebranded Zuva fuel station at the former Jaggers, now Fazak Home Centre.
You should understand the frustration of us passengers. Why refuel now, when we are in a hurry to get to wherever we are going?
It’s a common feeling that only commuters understand. It seems illogical, but try and explain the meaning of the word logic to a kombi driver and his obstinate tout.
The jittery driver motions the tout to give the fuel attendant the money. Unperturbed, the tout takes out a bunch of filthy notes (Obama will definitely not like this) and selects $2. You read me right; TWO dollars and, without batting an eyelid, hands it to the attendant!
Here we were, a kombi full of passengers, all having paid their dues and this not being the crews’ first trip no doubt. And yet the tout buys $2 worth of fuel! What was more shocking if not laughable, was the expressionless fuel attendant who received the two dollars with both hands and proceeded to “fill her up!”
I mean, we know that there is a cash crunch and all, people. But $2 worth of fuel and believe me they were not topping up! Hayi ah! Anyway we got to town in one piece on $2 worth of fuel.
But what really worried me was the state of the crew and their vehicle which is supposed to ferry breathing passengers. Most of the time, we unknowingly sacrifice a lot, even our lives for expediency.
Which brings me to a topic that has been raging in the news and social media of late; that of the new traffic laws. One might think that it’s the height of ‘ridiculousness’ to jail a driver just because he does not have a spare wheel! Let alone the fact that the fire extinguisher in one’s car is the wrong weight.
Sometimes I feel that the authorities attempt to kill a fly with a bazooka. We all know what the issues are when it comes to the carnage on the roads. But the issue of concentrating on the irrelevant to solve this is puzzling.
One reason that I proffer is that someone high up sells fire extinguishers, wheel spanners and reflective vests and these statutes are designed to drive customers to their business enterprise. What else are we supposed to think?
Some years ago I had a situation involving traffic police and reflectors. I and the family were based in Francistown then. We had just acquired a brand new set of wheels, a car. You know when you feel bad about removing the plastic but you just have to. So we decided to come home to show the extended family what we had achieved.
Lo and behold we are stopped at that semi-permanent roadblock near KoMbokodo. I was super confident that the cops would wave me on, but no! I was flagged to the side of the road which made me angry.
The only reason why they flagged me down was the fact that I was driving a car with foreign number plates. And that I could be dripping with money. I was disgusted.
The police detail — I won’t dignify him by calling him an officer — came and asked routine questions. Then he went round the brand new vehicle looking for something to ticket me for. He then came back and said I did not have reflectors, both front and back. I told him that I had been away for some time and that I was not aware that they were required. I then promised him that it would be the first thing I would sort out once I hit the city centre.
Well he was having none of that. I just had to pay the fine. That’s when I lost it. He was not prepared to buy my story or be reasonable. I was delayed for an hour just because I was not prepared to pay the ticket or bribe.
I was listening to StarFM a couple of days ago and the topic of discussion was that of taming the traffic jungle. The police officer struggled to explain some glaringly (almost said stupid) things they do at roadblocks.
His colleague from the Zimbabwe Traffic Safety Council was worse. He was frothing at the mouth — at least he seemed as if he was. I felt he was inciting the police to arrest just about every person who was breaking traffic laws. I beg to rest my case.
Online Reporter