Online Reporter
Rutendo Gwatidzo-Changing Perspectives
Every day at around 7:45am, Ronald sat in his car outside the office, gripping the steering wheel and taking deep, heavy breaths before forcing a smile and walking through the front doors.
For months, whether he was catching up with colleagues at work, calling his parents on his commute home, or sitting down to dinner with his family, his answer to every “How are you doing?” was always an automatic, “I’m fine!”
In reality, Ronald was drowning. A recent promotion had doubled his workload, his father’s health was failing, and the pressure to keep everything balanced at work and at home had left him completely exhausted and unable to sleep. He kept the mask on because he didn’t want to seem like a failure to his boss, a burden to his family, or weak to his friends.“I’m fine”, followed by smiling became emotional surviving.
In the Bible, David’s story is the quiet reality for many of people across corporate offices, school staff rooms, or family dinner tables. A world where we meticulously polish our outward lives while silently fracturing under the pressure.
The Heaviest Lie We Carry
We live in a world that rewards appearances. People are applauded for looking strong, smiling through pressure, staying productive, and “holding it together” no matter what they are going through internally. As a result, many people have mastered the art of smiling while emotionally drowning. The words “I’m fine”, followed by a smile have become a survival mechanism. Behind many cheerful faces are people carrying silent battles, emotional exhaustion, depression, disappointment or loneliness. Yet every day they wake up, smile politely, attend meetings, encourage others, post motivational quotes, and continue functioning as though everything is normal. Society has taught many people how to perform wellness instead of how to experience healing.
The Woman Everyone Thought Was Fine!
“People always called me strong,” she said. “The truth is; I was just good at smiling.”
She attended church faithfully and encouraged others constantly. She showed up for work professionally and laughed in public. But, every night she cried herself to sleep.
Nobody noticed because her smile had become part of her survival strategy. Whenever she attempted to tell people that she was struggling, they hardly believed her because of her strong stature.
Her story reflects the reality of countless people today. Some individuals are not smiling because life is easy. They are smiling because they are trying to survive emotionally.
Modern society has created an unhealthy obsession with appearing fine. Social media especially, has intensified emotional hiding. People feel pressured to display success, happiness, confidence, and stability even when internally they are falling apart. Among many other reasons, they fear becoming gossip topics. So they smile instead.
The tragedy is that many emotionally struggling people become experts at hiding pain behind functionality. They continue producing results while privately breaking down.
Due to the rising number of people including young adults who are just collapsing and dying, I recently did a quick research with a few corporates using one of my books “Breaking The Silence”.
I was surprised that 93 percent of the 65 people who participated were carrying deep issues never told to anyone close to them for fear of judgement. The outcome troubled my heart, hence the reason I wrote this article. Please hear me and hear me very well, authenticity is not weakness but courage. And perhaps this generation needs that reminder more than ever.
Many organisations today are filled with employees who are physically present but emotionally exhausted. People arrive at work smiling, greeting colleagues professionally, attending meetings, and delivering reports while internally battling stress and personal struggles.
Unfortunately, many workplace cultures still reward performance while ignoring emotional wellness. Generally, employees are often afraid to speak openly because they fear losing opportunities, being misunderstood, or becoming subjects of workplace gossip. As a result, many suffer silently behind productivity.
A good number workplaces appear successful externally, while employees are collapsing internally. Sadly, emotionally exhausted employees struggle to perform sustainably.
Even leaders and managers are increasingly carrying invisible emotional pressure while trying to motivate teams and maintain results. Healthy organisations are not built only on targets, profits, and policies. They are built on healthy people. As leadership expert Simon Sinek wrote in Leaders Eat Last: “Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.” Unfortunately, taking care of others can only be effective when done by those good at taking care of themselves.
Even Strong People Get Tired!
Many leaders, parents, caregivers, breadwinners, pastors, professionals, and high performers are emotionally exhausted behind closed doors. The employee smiling in meetings may be battling depression. The manager motivating the team may be emotionally burned out. The strong friend everyone depends on may secretly feel empty inside.
Let us look at some public figures who suffered the same, according to online reports shared and public shows done. Robin Williams made millions laugh globally while privately battling deep emotional struggles.
Naomi Osaka courageously opened conversations around mental health after discussing the emotional pressure that comes with public expectations and performance.
Trevor Noah has openly reflected on trauma, emotional survival, and hidden struggles behind humour and resilience.
Their stories remind us that public smiles do not always reflect internal peace. A smile can communicate joy. But, sometimes it communicates endurance.
You Are Not the First – And You Will Not Be the Last!
One of the greatest lies emotional pain tells people is: “You are alone.” But, the truth is that millions of people have walked through emotional battles and survived them. You are not the first person to struggle emotionally. You will not be the last person to feel overwhelmed. You are not weak because life became heavy. There is no shame in admitting pain.
People suffer unnecessarily because they fear judgment from society. They stay trapped in silence because they worry about what people will say. Yet many of the same people judging others are privately fighting their own hidden battles too. No human being escapes hardship completely.
The strongest step some people will ever take is not pretending anymore. As author Glennon Doyle wrote in Untamed: “Being human is not hard because you’re doing it wrong. It’s hard because you’re doing it right.”
Authenticity is not weakness. Speaking out does not make someone weak. It makes them honest. Healing often begins the moment people stop performing strength and start confronting truth.
There is freedom in authenticity!
The moment people stop living for public approval, they begin healing emotionally. Because constantly pretending drains the soul.
Forward-thinking organisations must intentionally create cultures where people feel psychologically safe enough to speak honestly without fear of humiliation or punishment.
Step Out Before Silence Destroys You!
Many people wait until emotional breakdown before asking for support. Silence can become dangerous when pain remains buried for too long. Step out and Speak to someone trustworthy. Because whatever you are going through, you are not the first and you certainly will not be the last.
Rutendo Gwatidzo is a human capital executive and managing consultant at The HUB HR Consultancy. She is a multi-Award winning leader, transformational speaker and coach. She is also the author of Born to Fight and Breaking the Silence books. Contact details – 0714575805/ [email protected] / Rutendo Gwatidzo_Official FB public page.
