daniel chigunwe
Fadzayi Maposah
Correspondent
It is the month of March and it has come to be known as the Women`s month. The whole of the month the focus is on women, what they are doing and what can be done to improve their way of life.
Being a woman is a lot. I guess being a man is a lot too, but I do not have the first-hand experience! I have seen some men at the receiving hand of bad treatment from women!
I am not going to label anyone and any behaviour I will just share what I have seen happen and leave you to draw your own but informed conclusions! I am not going to start stepping on landmines that may blow up in my face. I just want to be able to trigger discussions that I believe in the long term actually benefit women, although I may appear to be against women. Am I beginning to confuse you? Do not worry, clarity is on its way!
There is always a call for society to support women in their endeavours because of the disparities and different opportunities that are presented to males and females. I have just been thinking that as women it is within our powers to significantly contribute to the change that we want. It is not something that will happen overnight but requires a lot of commitment and hard work. The commitment and hard work should come from the women.
Why do I say women? Women are great influencers. It is only that sadly in some instances they use their influence in a bad way. When there is alleged infertility within the home, which family members are most likely to be the most vocal in seeking ways to rectify the issue and do that rapidly? Women. Who are the first to notice that someone could be pregnant? Women. Which family members have the most time with the children? Women. Who in the family decides what should be eaten or not eaten within the family institution. Women.
I know of someone who grew up in a home where sugar beans was never part of the diet. It was because her mother said that beans had affected her during adolescence and for that the whole family had to pay the price. In adulthood she developed an `acquired` taste for beans. Strange is it not. In other families, offals were not a delicacy simply because the mother could not stomach them.
Growing up we ate a lot of mazondo at our house. There would be put on a fire outside and people would be assigned to make sure that the fire was blazing away while the mazondo boiled. When done the pots would be changed, pouring the mazondo into a clean pot for the stove. While the vegetables and sadza were being prepared , the one “on duty” would be busy scrubbing to make the sooty pot clean once again. You can imagine my surprise in adulthood when one female told me that mazondo were not for women when I had put my plate on the serving table as mazondo were being dished. In childhood one woman allowed me to eat as much mazondo as I could, now as an adult I was being told mazondo were a delicacy for men! Really,
I thought to myself, if there was something that left male traits in women from mazondo, the way I had eaten mazondo since childhood, I was good as a female male!
This women`s month and beyond, it is time to let go of women bringing fellow women down. Better than that it is important to start with the males in our lives that we can influence, and influence them in a good way. The sons within our homes, our brothers, our cousins, nephews, uncles and even fathers. When a couple is trying for a child and they are not getting pregnant we as women will not add to the stress that the couple already has by `being so sure` that it is the woman who is married to our relative who cannot conceive. We will not turn ourselves into investigators who do nothing but bring confusion and conflict.
Neither will we encourage our male relatives to do geographical family planning (having children in different places) when we think that our `acquired` female relative has not had as many children as we deem are necessary to keep the family name going. We shall not intimidate other fellow women when we visit, turning our visits into stressors. We shall in this month and beyond, applaud every male who is doing his best to improve the life of a fellow woman. In this regard we shall stop labelling any male that we see helping his woman folk be it with laundry, cooking or any household chores. We shall not offer to help the male get rid of the love potion that has affected his brain!
As women who are committed to progress, we shall not gossip using our gift of speech in a bad way. Rather we shall talk and encourage women to set themselves up in business and excel. When they excel, we shall not attribute their success, to sleeping their way to success. We shall be our sister`s keeper. We shall not blow things out of proportion when a young woman or even a mature one stains her dress due to a menstrual flow.
We shall not attribute the staining to being careless and having a mother who did not give proper guidance. Acknowledging that we have different opportunities, we shall push for equity rather than equality. We shall put up platforms from which `shorter` women in terms of opportunities can be at the same height as others!
We shall be bridges for each other. We shall be empowering women and ride on the wave of being good women for other women! # Invest in Women – Accelerate Progress!
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