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Rutendo Chidawanyika
LADIES gather around, I’ve got tea and I’m spilling. So your man says let’s go out on Friday evening, maybe to a tshisa nyama or shisha, you spend the whole week preparing because you want to look fly. You want to impress bae, so you get your thick instagram eyebrows on fleek, stiletto-shaped nails with diamonds and glitters, rock up in ripped boyfriend jeans, crop top and fenty fur slides/heels and switched your hair for looooooooong blonde braids (below the bum). You get there and bae doesn’t even say you look nice. Well, because he thinks you look crazy.
Women claim to dress for themselves but in all honesty we do dress for the opposite sex and most times to compete against each other. I’ve always been curious as to what men think about how we dress. I love to be complemented, and if boo is quiet; does that mean he doesn’t notice my new hairdo or new nails? So I decided to interview 15 men (including my partner) in order to get to the truth, and figure what goes through their minds. All the men seemed to share the same opinion pertaining trends, it felt like I was talking to one person.
So ladies, these are the fashion trends which men don’t like and if it were up to them we would stop immediately. NB; italics are the men’s words.
1 Instagram eyebrows — Every one of them complained about thick eyebrows. Eyebrows were at the top of everyone’s list. I didn’t think our eyebrows hurt anyone but apparently men see them as funny. If you can’t do them then DON’T! Women walking out here looking like death vader from Star Wars. Dragon and exaggerated eyebrows gotta go. These guys have no idea how long it takes to get the perfect brow. Only for him to think I look funny.
2 Too much makeup — It’s just that this is from a man’s perspective so we will never know what too much make-up is. Looking like a clown or barbie doll is not cute. Well, the make-up issue just depends, some women don’t wear make-up and still look gorgeous. Others do need make-up because without it they wouldn’t feel confident enough to be seen without. Men will say you are still beautiful; but can we believe anything they say after they let us go on with instagram brows for two years and nobody warned us?
3 Nail art — What’s life without a bit of drama? Men don’t get nail art but it’s ART for the NAILS. Having the sparkliest nails or the sharpest or brightest or even the craziest is what makes art. The younger you are, the more risks you take with nail art. Nail art is just too much and no one gets it. I guess most men mind but they don’t say anything.
4 No panty lines please — Seamless underwear does exist, please no panty lines! I was like wow. This is not really a trend but something women do. I couldn’t defend my girls on this point because I personally don’t like lines as well. If you are not into seamless underwear or thongs then a corset/tights might come in handy.
5 You are not Rihanna — Rihanna can make anything look good. Not you. Don’t raid your mum’s 70s closet, make us think we went back in time when we see you. Celebrities have stylists and you don’t, so stop trying to look like them because they don’t look like that everyday. Rihanna is a fashion icon and role model to most, old or young. She does dress fashionably and we can’t help but want to imitate her. However, some take it 10 notches too far.
It’s ok to admire her style but all the men are saying is be you. You don’t have to impress them trying to look like Bad girl Riri.
6 Know your body type — I didn’t see this one coming (clears throat). If you have an apple-shape body maxi dresses are for you. Skinny jeans with body hugging tops aren’t for every body type. We know women follow fashion trends but don’t go with anything; do make sure it suits. Guess they do have eyes after all LOL. So next time you meet up or go out if you don’t get any compliments this could one of the reasons. Ladies should always buy jeans that fit bakithi!
7 Crazy hairstyles — The crazy references are bright-coloured hairdos. Overly done hair, over the top outrageous colours looking like a rainbow. Simplicity is always a win. So it looks like the men aint digging the ombre weaves, green, blue and even red. When it comes to hair it all depends on the age. The younger you are the easier it is to get away with some of these hairdos. Some are just crazy like the pink hair or trying the Amber Rose look.
Oh well, we hear y’all.
8 Skin bleaching — This beauty/fashion trend seems like it’s here to stay. The men are about women changing their skin tone.
9 Shoes — Seems the fellas are picky when it comes to shoes. One specifically said no pumps or morning shoes outside the house. Those fur slides I have been preaching about in previous articles have to qualify as house sleepers. Do not wear heels if you cannot walk in them is another point from the men.
Some went as far as mentioning leaving the house with a sock on your head, their loathe for jumpsuits and unkempt toes. Wow! The men really went in on us but we’ve got this ladies and we always slay. We don’t expect men to get us, we still don’t get their cargo pants and funny shoes. Fashion trends depend on the age, occupation and occasion. So if you are to get compliments from bae LESS IS MORE and SIMPLICITY IS THE ULTIMATE
SOPHISTICATION.
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derick.khumalo