Online Reporter
Love can confuse even the smartest bantu. This week I received letters that prove one thing. Emotions can mislead you, religion can complicate your life and money can expose true colours. Before you burn your house down chasing butterflies, read carefully. Uncle Bra Binzy is about to serve the hot truth.
I MET MY SOUL MATE AT MY OWN WEDDING
Dear Bra Binzy
Bra Binzy I have met my soul mate, after tying the knot. I’m so confused and unhappy in my marriage.
My soul mate was the MC at my wedding. From the very first time I laid eyes on him on that day., I knew he was the one. I even prayed for someone to object to the wedding but sadly, no one did.
I loved the way this guy was dressed, his physique and his eloquence. I could not take my eyes off him. He is everything I dream of in a man. I had hoped my feelings would go away but two months into the marriage, they keep growing stronger.
I have started recommending him for gigs with my friends so that I can get a chance to see him and speak to him. He appears unaware of my passion for him.
My husband is a simple man who worships me but lately I have found his attention annoying. Bra Binzy How do I get out of this marriage and how do I get the man of my dreams to be mine?
– Anonymous
Bra Binzy replies
Sisi . . . you wanted someone to object at your own wedding?
You were not in love. You were intoxicated by performance.
That MC was on duty. Of course he looked sharp and confident. It was his stage. Your husband was nervous because it was his real life on the line.
You are comparing a highlight reel to everyday reality.
Marriage is not about who looks good holding a microphone. It is about who holds your hand when life gets ugly.
Right now you are feeding a crush until it feels like destiny. Meanwhile the MC probably sees you as just another bride whose envelope he collected.
Ask yourself something honestly. If that same MC was sweating fixing a broken toilet, would he still look like your soul mate?
Do not destroy a stable marriage because of wedding day fireworks. Fireworks are loud but short lived.
If you are unhappy, fix what is lacking in your marriage first. Communicate. Reconnect. Spice things up. But do not chase a fantasy while throwing away a man who chose you publicly before witnesses and God.
Butterflies fade. Commitment stays.
Next case.
‘MY WIFE JOINED A FASTING CHURCH AND NOW I AM STARVING’
Dear Bra Binzy
Bra Binzy, my wife joined a church that fasts constantly. Since January she has been on dry fasts, fruit fasts and intimacy fasts. She says we must abstain to grow spiritually.
I am now sleeping next to a holy refrigerator. When I complain she says I am fighting God. I love her but I am hungry in every way. Help.
– Hungry Husband
Bra Binzy replies
Eish mfowethu . . . holy refrigerator is serious.
Spiritual growth should not turn a marriage into a desert.
Scripture itself says do not deny each other except by mutual agreement and for a time. Not forever. For a time.
Your wife may be overcompensating because she feels spiritually behind. New zeal sometimes becomes extreme.
Approach her gently. Do not mock her church. Tell her marriage is also ordained by God. Intimacy is not sin. It is bonding.
Suggest counselling with a mature leader who understands balance. Pray together. Show her you support her faith, not just the bedroom benefits.
But if she hides behind religion to permanently reject you, then you must have a serious conversation about partnership.
And please do not solve hunger by cheating. That will only add fire to fasting.
‘HE SENT ME AN INVOICE FOR LOVE’
Dear Bra Binzy
Bra Binzy, I dated a man for eight months. He paid for dates and groceries. I never asked him. After I dumped him for being controlling, he sent me an itemised list demanding repayment. He says he will shame me online if I do not pay. Must I refund him?
– Fed Up Ex, Harare
Bra Binzy replies
Sisi, is he Zimra or your ex?
Gifts given in love are not loans. Dates are not instalments.
This man is hurt and his ego is leaking. So now he wants to convert romance into accounting.
Unless there was a clear agreement that the money was a loan, you owe him nothing.
Block him. Keep evidence of his threats. If he harasses you, involve authorities.
And learn this lesson. When a man uses money loudly, he will collect it loudly. Real generosity is quiet.
Love is not a business contract.
Bra Binzy’s
final word
Eish bantwana . . . this week proved one thing. Butterflies can blind you, religion can dry you, and money can try to invoice you. Do not burn your marriage for a microphone moment. Do not fast your spouse into frustration. Do not date accountants of love. Think straight. Pray wisely. Choose maturity over madness.
Want Bra Binzy to fix your messy umjolo situation?
n Email: [email protected]
Or WhatsApp us on 0776201133 with the hashtag #DearBraBinzy
