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Having an open relationship means you have mutually agreed to explore sexual relations outside of your primary partnership.
Creating a successful open relationship requires top-notch communication, trust and clear boundaries.
Not everyone craves the traditional monogamous relationship. For some people, relationship satisfaction requires more diversity. There is nothing wrong with wanting to explore your sexuality with multiple people. When you care about your primary partner and don’t want to lose that connection, creating an open relationship becomes an ethical option for both people. But in order for open relationships to work ,clear communication, boundaries and expectations are essential.
What is an open relationship?
On the surface, an open relationship is one where you and your partner agree to allow sexual encounters with other people.
“Open relationships are sometimes referred to as ‘monogamish,’” explains Ashera DeRosa, owner and licensed marriage and family therapist.
The honesty in an open relationship is what sets it apart from infidelity, or cheating, where other intimate connections are kept secret.
Consensual non-monogamy is more common than most people realize. According to research from 2017 Trusted Source, approximately one out of every five single adults in the United States have participated in an open relationship at some point in their lives.
How do open relationships work?
There’s no clear evidence to suggest open relationships fail more than monogamous ones, even though that’s the common assumption. You can feel secure, valued and loved in an open relationship just as you can in a monogamous one.
Just like monogamous relationships, open relationships work through clear communication, boundaries and trust. They can be successful when both partners understand the rules and there’s no sense of inequality.
Why do people seek open relationships?
In the right open relationship, you may be able to obtain the perfect balance of emotional fulfilment and sexual fulfilment.
Nicolle Dirksen, owner of Clover Counselling and sex and couples’ therapist from Owatonna, Minnesota, explains, “Much like any relationship structure, folks choose an open relationship for all kinds of reasons. Some people may be attracted to multiple genders and feel more fulfilled when they can explore relationships with genders different from their current partner.”
In addition to sexual diversity, an open relationship may be appealing if you feel constrained by the cultural norm of monogamy, or if you have sexual fantasies your primary partner isn’t comfortable with.
The pros and cons of an open relationship
According to a longitudinal study from 2020, people are just as happy in such relationships as they are in monogamous ones.
But an open relationship may have some specific relationship benefits, including: greater sexual satisfaction, fundamentally strong level of communication, expanded social network and connections and enhanced sense of newness or adventure in the relationship.
An open relationship isn’t without its pitfalls, especially if boundaries aren’t clear or both partners aren’t as invested in the idea of sexual intimacy with other people. Potential cons of an open relationship include: feelings of relationship anxiety or fear, jealousy, risk of sexually transmitted infections or disease, time management/partner commitment challenges, increased expenses for other partners and coping with secondary partners who decide they want more out of the relationship.
Is an open relationship right for you?
There’s no universal test that can determine if an open relationship is where you should be. To start, if you can’t stand the thought of sharing your primary partner or engaging in extra sexual encounters yourself, then open relationship might not be the right choice. Sophia Turner, a relationship and sex therapist from Chicago, Illinois says, “If you can check these boxes, an open relationship might be for you:” The concept of multiple sexual partners excites you. You are curious about exploring different relationship dynamics. You want to be challenged to communicate openly, honestly and compassionately with your partner.
You have enough time to dedicate to these various relationships. You feel equipped to navigate the expected jealousy that arises in open relationships. Remember, an open relationship requires both people to be satisfied with the relationship structure. (source: psychcentral.com)
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