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Monica Cheru-Mpambawashe Lifestyle Editor
Love is supposedly in the air. The romantic feelings that St Valentine’s Day celebrated on 14 February are meant to be aroused even in the worst cynics among us, we are led to believe.
For a day that was reportedly started because of a host of mating birds, the humans have really bought into the culture, buy being the operative term.
It is all about presents – flowers, perfumes, lingerie, accessories, themed crockery and anything else that the loved one would consider special. But just what is love?
Maybe once upon a time life was totally simple and romantic love was strictly something between a man and a woman, while its more innocent beginnings could be found in platonic puppy love between small kids.
But today it seems that the definition of love has become a wide open space where each day we must broaden our acceptance horizon and encompass yet another aspect that our ancestors would never have vocalised, much less blessed.
Just as prostitutes are no longer in our midst and have been replaced by the eminently socially acceptable sex workers, perverts are a dying breed as their numbers are speedily decimated as we bestow upon them acceptable labels. Hate or love them, it is undeniable that American culture is influencing world trends so we take a look at some of the relationships that they are changing attitudes towards.
Animal affection
A recently released film features the “love affair” between a NASA scientist and Dolly, a dolphin. The Daily Mail says according to Malcom Brenner, Dolly made moves on him first so the relationship was consensual! This is not the first time that the US thought centre NASA has been embroiled in a human/animal sex scandal.
In the 60s a tabloid expose stopped Margaret Lovatt NASA experiment with Peter the dolphin in which the human scientist used her hands to pleasure the dolphin because it was allegedly too disruptive to put him with female dolphins to relieve his frequent arousals.
Many people classify the sexual relations between humans and animals as bestiality in pedestrian language or zoophilia if you insist on being pedantic. But no, that is only bigotry, some broad minded fellow earthlings would have us believe. The proper term for such a condition is now animal affection. So next time you see some fellow on your chicken or a woman performing with a dog in front of the camera, just shrug your shoulders and say “Aw, how sweet!”
Same sides of the coin
President Mugabe has taken a stance that as a country we will not legalise gay relationships. A stroll through social media sites, especially Facebook the most popular among Zimbabweans, will reveal widespread antipathy to such relationships.
This, the Americans and other “enlightened” global citizens inform us, makes Zimbabwe one of the worst places to be human on Earth. But digging behind the sensationalism you find that gay bashing including murder which is a national sport in so-called free countries like the US and South Africa is not even a club sport in Zimbabwe.
So what if Obama allows the US soldiers to be openly gay if gay people remain victims of violent hate crimes? While gay women are subjected to a horror called corrective rape down in SA, in Zimbabwe people are content to keep their judgmental attitude to social media comments.
Whether it is a foreign import or has always been quietly with us, nature or nurture, this is one form of relationship that we will never run away from.
Innocence denied
The number of child sexual abuse cases in our justice system is shocking. We have some cultural traditions such as chiramu which made this an accepted social behaviour in some instances in the past.
Some religious groupings still seem to be clinging to the terrible habit of forced marriage for young girls. But all this pales in comparison to our more “civilised” brethren in the Western world where modern day slavery, human trafficking and child prostitution are a big industry. The kingpins make millions out of child porn and also in procuring children to be sexually used and at times killed by some of the most respectable members of their society.
So to make this heinous crime more acceptable because of all the “respectable” people secretly involved, we will no longer brand this paedophilia, but child affection.
Gerontophilia
We all know that age ain’t nothing but a number, right? So why would a whole clan that would gladly accept a rich old man as the chosen partner for their sweet 18-year-old daughter rise up in arms if the situation is reversed and their 28-year-old son introduces them to a much older woman as his bride of choice?
A story doing the rounds on the internet claims that a 22-year-old Dominican man recently wedded a 72-year-old American millionaire with most comments indicating that the majority of people believe that the young man is only after money.
But there are people who are only ever attracted to older partners so it is high time we stopped applying our hypocritical generational gap rules to love.
Local men are increasingly marrying older partners and living no less happily than those with socially approved age differences.
Keeping it in the family
A US woman who published her affair with her father a short while ago brought out an interesting fact. There is a state in the US where incest is legal.
Heavens know that we have had more than enough cases in our country with brother impregnating sister, mother and son becoming involved and fathers becoming their daughters’ lovers.
Never mind the biological aspect of the raised danger of children with disabilities resulting from such unions, we have a far bigger challenge in accepting such relationships.
If a father marries his daughter who will he give the lobola to?
But if lobola is abolished as many young people are now advocating, we may soon find ourselves making excuses for such pairings as we piously pontificate about how love is a beautiful thing in all its various forms.
I am positive that in 100 years’ time if the culture of St Valentine’s still persists — as retailers will doubtlessly ensure, the list of expectant recipients of gifts would definitely look amazing for those of us still trapped in what we like to call the “right” definition of love.
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