adminContinued from last week……
HELLO there folks, without saying too much, here is our continuation of the anonymous letter/note/message I received last week, which started as follows:
A few months into my husband’s deployment, I stopped wearing my wedding ring. I sat on the edge of our bed with tears in my eyes and slipped it off my finger. The gold felt heavy in my hand. I plunked my wedding ring into the ceramic ring holder, the one that looks like a bird on a stump, the one he hates and turned off the light.
I looked at my bare left hand and made a decision. If I was going to wear that ring, I said to myself, then I had to live the vow.
That began a ritual that has transformed my marriage. Every morning, I slip my ring on my finger and pray that God will help me to be worthy of it. Then I repeat my wedding vows to myself, thinking of specific ways I can love, honour and cherish my husband throughout the day. Each night, I take my wedding ring off again, hold it in my hands, and ask the hard questions. Had I faithfully kept my vows to my husband/wife that day?
Did I put him/her first, after God, in my day?
Did I pray for him/her?
Did I make it easy for him to lead? / Her to follow?
Did I actively support God’s calling on his / her life?
Did I encourage him/her to use his gifts, even if it meant personal sacrifice?
Did I give him/her my undivided attention?
Did I stop what I was doing and listen? Did I hear?
Did I uphold his/her reputation in the things I said about him/her?
Did I believe the best about him/her?
Did I trust him/her?
Did I limit my complaining and withhold criticism?
Was I thankful, appreciative, and kind?
Did I respect his/her hard work in the way I managed our finances?
Was I happy to see him?
Did I actively pursue ways to make him/her feel loved?
Was I a faithful partner in the raising of our children?
Did I uphold his authority/her support when I parented without him/her?
Did I work on areas of weakness?
Did I strive to mature and grow?
Was I teachable and open to correction?
Did I recognise growth in him/her?
Wear the ring, live the vow – As the days passed, the vow I made on my wedding day took on more and more significance. It knit me together with my husband/wife in ways I had longed for, but long neglected. Even with an ocean between us, I was more conscious of my commitment to him/her, and more focused on truly loving, honouring, and cherishing him/her than ever before. And he/her returned the favour.
Some people say you should never take off your wedding ring. But I needed to take off my ring in order to see the significance of it. I needed to take it off to remind myself why I put it on in the first place, and what that meant for me.
I needed to take off my ring to remember that wearing ring is the easy part of marriage – but it means nothing without the vows.
May I challenge you to do the same. Take off your ring. Look at it.
Recite your vows to yourself and think about ways to fulfill them before you slip it on again. Make each day a new commitment to love, honor, and cherish your spouse the way God intended.
Wear your ring, but live the vow.
I could not have said it any better folks even if I tried. I hope it has helped you understand true marriage. Until next week, God bless!
Wedding Doctor can be messaged/WhatsApped on 0772 933 845 or email: [email protected].
Online Reporter