adminThe story behind the story in the grisly murder tells it all.
Observably any sort of violence is always horrifying, but what distinguishes this from others is that the man’s actions were not easily predictable because he had earlier on tried to be civil by all standards.
This case is a typical example of inherent domestic violence in various relationships that has gone on unabated within our homes.
Goodman Nyoni (33) and Miriam Nyoni (nee Takavingofa) were in a seriously abusive relationship as proved by the legal processes they were going through at the time of the murder.
While the late Miriam had filed adultery charges against Ms Sikhulile Ngwenya, a woman she alleged was going out with her husband, Goodman had last year in March sought a peace order against her but since they failed to live in harmony Goodman abandoned his family and matrimonial home.
He had also filed for a decree of divorce and an eviction order.
The legal processes cited above prove that although Goodman was subjecting Miriam to emotional abuse, he was also, in turn, subjected to physical, emotional and psychological abuse.
All the cases, either filed by the late or Goodman were still pending at the time of the tragic eventuality last week. Maybe they serve as a wake-up call to the judiciary and the need to handle domestic violence cases with the urgency they deserve.
Men rarely admit to being victims of domestic violence but Goodman had. It is unfortunate that though Zimbabwean society is alleged to be evolving towards femininity subconsciously it remains patriarchal.
When the story was first published on Tuesday, women’s rights advocacy organisation Musasa Project, through Ms Lindile Ndebele, was quick to blame everything on men and Goodman in particular.
She was reported as saying that it was unacceptable for men to continue killing women in such a manner. She also appealed to members of the community to use suggestion boxes if they suspected a woman was suffering from violence.
To any rightfully and objectively reasoning person, Ndebele’s assertions then evoke the question: “What about men?”
Men are subjects of domestic violence too and Goodman who stands accused of murdering his wife is an example.
In his submissions while applying for a peace order, he wrote; “With my wife, we have a long standing misunderstanding which has recently resulted in me moving out of the house.
“Miriam is now a problem in my life. She phones, threatening me and comes to my place of residence uninvited causing chaos and disturbing peace. She also comes to my place of work causing unnecessary commotion,” read part of the affidavit.
“As of now, I apply for a peace order against Miriam, that if she wants anything from me she must follow the right channels and approach the courts for any assistance and not interfere with my life,” said the man.
He sought the peace order in 2011.
Earlier in 2010, Goodman had instituted divorce proceedings against the now late wife.
Needless to say acres and hectares of space have been availed in papers to disseminate information about domestic violence but it seems society has turned a blind eye on violence inflicted on men by their spouses.
According to available evidence, as is in court papers filed by the two, the relationship has been abusive dating back to 2009.
The now late Miriam submitted while making adultery charges against Ms Ngwenya that the latter had “illicitly associated and engaged with her husband in an adulterous sexual relationship well knowing that Nyoni was a married man”.
However, it is the attitude of women as far as this matter is concerned that is appalling. Their attitude is collectively reflected by Musasa Project’s sentiments.
Now that this case of domestic violence has gone out of control, the man’s (Goodman) actions only are in the spotlight. No-one cares to listen to his plight or the abuse he might have suffered before last week.
What he allegedly did is wrong and should be condemned at all costs but again as a people we should also study the events that led to the final action and use them as a case study in the fight against domestic violence.
Zimbabwean women claim to be embracing gender equality which cannot be separated from the feminism movement in any way. However, as things turn out to be, the very same women do not seem ready to embrace even the responsibilities that come with those rights.
It is important to remind women that every right comes with a responsibility. It is one’s responsibility to enjoy their rights without trampling on other people’s rights.
What is happening now seems a scenario where a woman, in her quest to enjoy her rights, abandons and forgets the responsibility of letting the other partner enjoy his rights.
It is not clear whether the attitude by women is calculated ignorance meant to strategically enhance their “rights cause” or not. Whatever inspires women’s ignorance to the plight of men is however, motivating them to dig their own graves.
Domestic violence cannot be solely understood as physical abuse, emotional and physiological but as a phenomenon that takes on a myriad of forms. These forms get to be economic and psychological.
While women in Zimbabwe generally believe that domestic violence is deeply-rooted in cultural structural explanations, the realisation of an almost violence- free society depends on their understanding of their responsibilities in the enhancement of the cause.
Women seem prepared and ready to challenge the power of men in positions and in the broader society as well as within the homes but unfortunately they remain subconsciously submissive. The attempt to take the fight home has, in some cases, proved deadly.
Online Reporter