Young, pregnant, alone and scared

When I was in thirteen years old I started dating a boy who was two years older than me. He was in form two and I was in form one. One day he invited me to go for a movie and afterwards he suggested that we go to his brother’s place.
The brother left us alone and we had sex. I knew that it was wrong and that I should have said no, but somehow I forgot all about that.
I did not particularly enjoy it, but once I had crossed the line, I could not return.

So when I broke up with that guy and had another boyfriend I also had sex with him. I always saw posters talking about pregnancies and diseases but I never thought it had anything to do with me.

Then when I was in form three, one month I missed my period and I knew that I was in trouble.
I was sick all the time. I had to make sure that no one saw that I was vomiting every morning and I would feel suddenly weak without warning.

One day I fainted at school and my parents were told that I was unwell. I was terrified that they would find out that I was pregnant and I did not want to see their disappointment when they realised that I had not listened to all their teachings.

I tried to tell the guy responsible but he told me that I was a prostitute because I had not been a virgin when we met so he did not know whose child I was carrying.
It was only then that I started thinking about my future.

What would happen to me once I had a child? What if my parents chased me away from home?
I told a friend of mine who advised me to get an abortion. I begged my boyfriend for the money and he gave it to me. The doctor we went to almost refused when he saw how young I was.

He told me that I could die, but he finally did it because he said I could also have dangerous complications at delivery. He also advised me to go for an HIV test but I just do not have the guts.

Now I feel depressed and cry all the time but I cannot explain to my parents what is wrong. They think that it is evil spirits and have started taking me to prophets.
On the other hand when I see pregnant or teen moms, I feel lucky that I got a second chance.

I have also heard of scary stories about backyard abortions using herbs or knitting needles.
I want to tell other girls that men convince us to have sex, but at the end of the day we are the ones who are left with all the problems.