Akulula ukuba ngumamomncane

KUYINTO evamileyo kulezinsuku ukuthola abantu abatshadileyo besehlukana ngenxa yokungazwisisani endlini.

Lokhu kwehlukana kwababili kubangela ukuthi laba abehlukeneyo bacine sebetshada labanye abantu.

Abantu abanengi balokwesaba kanye lokuzonda umuntu obizwa ngelokuthi stepmother, bahle bathi bangezwa ibala leli bacabangele umuntu ulenzondo enkulu, umona kanye lokuloya okuthize.

Bakhona omama abathathwa ngobaba abavele belabantwana babo kodwa uthole ukuthi babalokuzwisisana labantwana babomkabo okokuthi awungeke watsho ukuthi lumfazi akayisuye ozala abantwana laba. Kube sokusiba labanye abathi bangafika emzini wabo omutsha bafike ngokuhlukuluza abantwana ngendlela ezitshiyeneyo.

Kungabe kuliqiniso ukuthi sesake sezwa ngabanye omama abahlukuluza abantwana babomkabo, emendweni kwezinye izikhathi becina sebebabulele kodwa kumele sikhumbule ukuthi akusimuntu wonke olomoya wobuthakathi, bakhona abanye abafika emendweni bathande abantwana sangathi baphuma ethunjini labo.

Okumele sikuzwisise yikuthi ukufika emzini usubizwa ngelithi mamomncane akulula sibili ngoba abantu balakho ukukwamukela ngendlela ezitshiyeneyo. Abanye basuka bacabangele ukuthi nguwe owakhipha umfazi wakuqala emzini wakhe. Abanye labo bayabe besithi mhlawumbe usefuna ukuzakhipha abantwana emzini kayise kuthi abanye labo bayabe besithi uselande ukuzabulala umkakhe abesezithathela inotho.

Abanye omamomncane bathathwa njengabomahotsha kukanti lokhu ayisikho, abanye bayabe bengomama abahloniphekayo njalo abazithobileyo sibili.

Phela kudala kwakungavamanga ukuthi abantu behlukane, umfazi omutsha wayebonakala nxa kuyikuthi indoda yalapho ekhaya isingumfelwa nje kuphela.

Khathesi ukwalana sokwandile kakhulu okokuthi imizi eminengi isiphethwe ngabafazi besibili kumbe abesithathu.

Akusinto elula ukuthi umuntu ongumama azame ukugcwalisa isikhala esesatshiywa ngomunye umfazi ngoba kuzakuba khona ukungazwisisi kwabantwana kwezihlobo kanye labomakhelwane.

Abantu bazakuthi nxa bembona bamkhangelele phansi bemcabangela zonke izibozi abangazicabanga ngaye kodwa kwezinye izikhathi bayabe bephambanisile ngoba mhlawumbe lumfazi uyabe eze ngeliqotho.

Ukuze azame ukuthi atshengisele ukuthi uze ngeliqotho kuyinto enzima ngoba yiloba yini ayenzayo balutshwana abantu abazakunanzelela ukuthi uzama ukulungisisa impilo yakhe labantwabomkakhe.

Ukuba ngumamomncane kuyinto ezahlala ilezinhlupho ezitshiyeneyo kodwa abantu kumele bakhangele lumama oyabe esefike emzini lo bacwayisise ukuthi kambe angabe eze ngesisa kumbe ukuzachitha umuzi womkakhe kuphela.

Akusinto enzima ukuthi abantu batholisise ukuthi umuntu vele ungumuntu mhlobo bani.

Nxa kuyikuthi ukhanya engumuntu ozahlukuluza abantwana kumbe vele usephakathi kokukwenza, kuhle sibili ukuthi abantu abadala ngisitsho izihlobo bahlale phansi lomkakhe bambikele ngalokhu abakwesabelayo ngoba esikhathini esinengi umuntu oyindoda uyabe engazi ukuthi abantwabakhe kumbe izihlobo bayahlukuluzwa.

Okumele kube yinto ehlala isengqondweni zabantu abasezimulini ezinje yikuthi kumele bahlale besazi ukuthi abantu batshiyene kungakho-ke lo osefike emzini wabo angaba ngumuntu ozokwakha kumbe ozochitha.

Kuyinto ebuhlungu ukuthi uthole abantwana sebehawula ngenxa yokuthi sokulomama omutsha ekhaya, ikakhulu abancinyane abangakenelisi ukuzikhulumela kumbe ukuzivikela kulokhu kuhlukuluzwa.

Nxa kuyikuthi umuntu ongumama ufuna ukuvikela abantwabakhe ebuhlungwini kungangcono athi nxa esetshiya umendo ahambe labantwabakhe ngoba angeke wazi ukuthi umuntu oza emzini wakhe ngumuntu onjani.

Abantwana baba lokwesaba kanye lokudidana amakhanda bebona izinto ziguquka ekhaya kungakho-ke kumele babikelwe ukuthi sokuzakuza umama wabo omncane osezahlala labo athi angafika laye abantwana babikelwe ukuthi umama wenu omncane usebuyile.

Kuqakathekile ukuthi abantwana baziswe ukuthi kuvele kuhamba njani, sisitsho ukuthi kumele batshelwe ukuthi unina usesuke waya kwenye indawo akaseyikuhlala lapha ekhaya.

Kuyinto enzima ukuthi abantwana bakuzwisise konke lokhu kodwa ngemva kwesikhatshana balakho ukukwejwayela. Okuyabe sokusele yikuthi lumama omutsha afike aphathe abantwana ngendlela unina ayebaphatha ngayo ngoba labo sebengabakhe.

Kungenzakala na ukuthi umama athande umkakhe kodwa engathandi abantwabakhe?

Lokhu akusiqiniso sibili ngoba umuntu nxa ethanda indoda yakhe kumele abelendawo yabantwabayo enhliziyweni. Nxa kuyikuthi usefike emzini lo waqala ukubahlukuluza kutsho ukuthi vele akayithandi indoda.

Kungakho-ke kuqakathekile ukuthi umuntu ongumama osethethwe yindoda evele ilabantwana bayo amukele ukuthi uthole indoda yakhe isilemuli kungakho-ke sokuyamele laye ayithathe ibeyimuli yakhe sisitsho ukuthi indoda, umuzi kanye labantwana sokungokwakhe konke.

Sesikhathele ngokubala ngabo-stepmother abahlukuluza abantwana emaphephandabeni, abantu abafunde ukuba lothando, bafunde ukuthi nxa usukhethe ukuthathwa ngumuntu olabantwana ufike khona ubaphathe kuhle.

Akulamuntu osowake wabanjwa ngamandla ukuthi ayethathwa lapho okwakuvele kulomunye umfazi.