adminCatherine Murombedzi HIV
We hear that charity begins at home so do good manners and up-bringing. The school becomes the second home that nurtures a child as they spend most of the day time there. A teacher’s influence cannot be under estimated. A teacher taking a child in early childhood learning either develops or breaks that child.
Memory Phiri took it upon herself to correct her class teacher who was stigmatising her.
“Everyday the teacher would tell the class to stop making a noise. He would say: ‘You do not even know the HIV status of the person seated next to you, yet you are fidgeting.’ he would say this and I felt this as abuse.”
Phiri said she could no longer take the abuse so she approached the teacher.
“I confronted him and told him that I was HIV positive and I knew that he was talking of me. I told him to stop. I informed him that from that day I would take my medicine at school at assembly and from the next day I did that. I made a statement. I would go to the assembly tap and take my tablets. Then they were a handful of tablets to take,” said Phiri.
Memory Phiri is the third-born child in a family of five. At age 9 she was raped by a stranger and he was never arrested. At 12 her mother died leaving her to be taken up by her aunt. The other siblings were shared among the relatives.
“I fell ill when I was 12 and was taken care of by the Catholic sisters of Donbosco. They took me to their orphanage and I had treatment and tests done. The other kids at the orphanage got to know of my HIV status before the sisters told me. It was quite devastating because they (other children) told me before the sisters did. When the sisters found out that I had been informed they took me for counselling.”
“I was loved by the sisters and I started medication at 13. Friends of Zambia had heard of my issue and that my siblings were scattered around. They bought a house for me and I left City of Hope in 2006 when I was aged 17 to live in our new home with my siblings. My brother aged 19 was the oldest and the eldest is a girl. She was married. The four of us moved into the new home headed by my 19-year-old brother. My two junior brothers were still in school and their needs were catered for by Friends of Zambia. They are now grown-ups and have moved out so has my elder brother. I am grateful to the Catholic sisters and Friends of Zambia,” said Phiri.
Today Phiri is happily married and is a mother of two HIV negative children aged 5 and 1 year.
“I have a soul-mate who knew of me since I was in an orphanage. He loved me unconditionally irrespective of my HIV status and we had a wedding and I am proud to say the Catholic sisters were my family. My relatives were not there when we needed them and I feel comfortable going back to the orphanage since it is the home I know,” she said. Phiri’s 5-year-old is aware of his mother’s HIV status.
“My five-year-old is aware of my status. However, he keeps asking why I am the only one who takes medicine. I keep my medication on top of the fridge,” said Phiri.
“Mom it’s time for you to take your medicine” he reminds me always.
Phiri found out that by opening up at school other pupils who had been raped came to her.
“Other kids who had been raped came to me and opened up. Those who were HIV positive and were taking medication yet they were not told what it was for also brought their medication to ask what it was for. I became a pillar for my peers and that way we stood together and a support group was formed unknowingly as we urged each other to adhere to treatment,” said Phiri.
Today Phiri works with Coalition of Zambian Women living with HI/AIDS (COZWHA). “I am a peer counsellor and I travel around the country a lot. I speak publicly in schools and on radio and church.
“HIV has not been an impediment. I got infected when I was raped. My mother did not die of an AIDS related illness. Had I allowed my teacher to stigmatise me he would have destroyed me. Speak up against discrimination,” said Phiri.
Phiri summed up by saying: “The body is mine and not for the virus, so I am the driver of the car and the virus is a passenger. When it’s time to take medicine or, food I do so. It has no choice but to obey my rules. I am beyond diagnosis,” Memory Phiri said.
On December 1 Memory and husband joined the world in celebrating world AIDS day in Lusaka clad in their t-shirts emblazoned. “HIV positive” and people stared at them.
Memory is a member of the Pan African Positive Women’s Coalition. The women met in Lusaka in Zambia on 4-5 December for an AGM and an Indaba. The theme was: “African women living with HIV creating an inspirational contribution to the continental HIV response.”
Online Reporter