Online Reporter
Laina Makuzha
LOVE by DESIGN
IF fathers matter, so do mothers. I agree.Together parents form the heartbeat of the home.
Yet today, many families are struggling to keep that heartbeat steady. After the previous series on fatherhood, we continue the family conversation this week by widening the lens to look at the broader parent-child relationship.
We live in a world where the language of love between parents and children is changing. Pursuits and recreation keep evolving, distractions are a dime a dozen.
“Modern trends” seem to have gained ground in wrapping young minds around artificial intelligence, social media apps, and endless virtual worlds. So many unexpected things can trigger some young people to harmful pursuits and behaviours.
Generations were raised differently, and so some parents now find themselves groping in the dark, trying to discover how to love their children without loving them to distraction. Trying to figure how to be firm while in some ways almost having to walk on eggshells.
The scenario where families may share the same roof, but each member inhabiting a different digital universe, busy, fascinated by screens while real conversations fade, has almost been normalised in modern times.
The result? Dysfunction, disconnection, and a widening gap between parents and children. Correction is resisted, chores are neglected, guidance is misunderstood, and love is often misinterpreted.
If you are a parent still grappling with the ever changing times, there is hope. Seek God’s guidance and also do your research on what is going on.
Understanding the gap
Children today are growing up in a digital age that their parents never knew. What feels like distraction to a parent may feel like identity to a child, like their whole world! Parents must choose to understand the world their children inhabit, even if it feels foreign or seems pointless.
Knowledge is power. Equip yourself in order to stay ahead. You will be better positioned to help and guide your children on how to use the tools responsibly and stay safe. It’s no longer cute or funny for a parent to say of AI in all its manifestations: “I have no idea what that is…” You cannot afford not to know zviri kusangana nevana out there, and where the kids are playing online, who or what they are chatting with, the things they talk about.
Some of these AI tools are dangerously luring and influencing children’s attitude, behaviour, perceptions and decisions. So no, as a parent or guardian you cannot bury your head in the sand. Handei tione kutodzizivawo AI dzacho, “the good, the bad, the ugly”.
It is about staying informed. Even though children will think they know better on the subject, when you educate them with love, they can make informed choices on how to responsibly or safely engage the tools. You obviously may not be able to protect them from everything, but be there for your children without seeming intrusive, overbearing or unfair to them.
Scripture also speaks to this: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Discipline without understanding provokes anger; discipline with love builds trust.
Children have their part to play. Parents, and I mean good parents, (not the toxic ones we read about that abuse their children) — do their best for the good of the family and their guidance or instruction should therefore be taken in the spirit in which it is given.
Traditional support networks
In past generations, families were not isolated units. Relatives, neighbours, and friends formed strong support networks. Aunties and uncles corrected children, grandparents told stories, and communities raised the young together. This collective wisdom provided balance.
Today, parents can reclaim some of that strength by involving trusted relatives and friends in their children’s lives, though understandably this may not be possible in some families. A child who hears the same values echoed by a grandmother, a pastor, or a mentor is more likely to embrace them. As Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, the people fall, but in the abundance of counsellors there is safety.”
Realigning communication
So how can communication be realigned to suit new family dynamics?
Listen first: Children want to be heard. Listening without immediate judgment opens the door for dialogue.
Speak their language: Use metaphors, examples, and even technology to explain values. If they live online, meet them there with wisdom.
Set boundaries with love: Boundaries are not punishment; they are protection. Explain the “why” behind rules.
Model respect: Children mirror what they see. Respect breeds respect- or it should.
Create family traditions: Shared meals, prayer times, or storytelling nights and game nights reconnect hearts. Dr. James Dobson, family counsellor, once said: “Children are not casual guests in our home. They are sacred trusts.” This calls for investing time, patience, and creativity in communication.
Some practical ideas to bridge the gap
Family meetings: Set aside time weekly to talk openly.
Digital detox moments: Agree on times when devices are put away.
Shared service: Volunteer together; serving others bonds hearts.
Prayer and devotion: Invite God into daily routines.
Mentorship: Connect children with mentors who reinforce family values.
Love and hope in homes
Love and hope are key. Parents can conquer dysfunction by choosing daily to love intentionally. Children can learn to receive guidance when they see it wrapped in genuine care.
They should feel free to bring their challenges or matters to their parents and not rely on/or prefer the ‘counsel’ of AI chatbots that are potentially misleading a whole generation at an alarming rate.
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