Online Reporter
Dear Tete Joyie:
I grew up in a family where my step sisters never liked me.
When our mom separated with their dad, he decided that they will be better off living with him.
Mom then remarried and gave birth to me, and they would visit and spend the weekend once a month.
Sadly, my mom and dad passed away when I was 14.
They died in a road traffic accident.
I was left in the care of my grandmother and life was tough.
My sisters never came to check on me, when I tried reaching out they ignored me.
I struggled to finish my secondary education and I went through college on a bursary.
Both my sisters were working good jobs at the time and they turned their back on me.
When I finished college I got a job in a company that pays well.
I have improved my life and surprisingly my sisters want to communicate.
The other one got retrenched from her job and the other is struggling to make ends meet.
The elder one called and said we should meet because family is important.
I do not know what I should do.
Should I open doors of communication or I just ignore them and we stay far away from each other.
Tete Joyie Says:
Thank you for opening up and sharing your story.
It is incredibly brave to lay all of that out.
You have been through profound loss, rejection and hardship, and yet here you are: educated, employed and resilient.
That kind of inner strength is something no one can take from you.
It is completely valid to feel conflicted right now.
Reconnecting with people who hurt you, especially when it feels like they are only reaching out because they are in need can stir up a lot of emotions anger, suspicion, hope even guilty.
Your hesitation shows wisdom.
You are not being cold; you are protecting the version of yourself that fought to survive and thrive.
But here is a gentle thought: reconnecting does not have to mean forgetting. You are allowed to open a door without swinging it wide open.
Maybe you meet with them not to offer help or forgiveness right away but just to listen.
You might find closure, or at least clarity about their intentions.
Or you might confirm your instincts and choose peace by keeping your distance.
Either path is strong.
What matters is that the choice is yours now not theirs.
You hold the pen to this next chapter.
If you do decide to meet them, perhaps set your own terms, emotionally and practically.
And if not?
That is entirely fair too.
Sometimes family is who shows up, not who shares your blood.
Do you feel ready to even see them face to face or does the idea still sting too much?
************
Tired of takeaway food
Dear Tete Joyie:
I am a married woman aged 27 and my husband is 31.
He is a very caring and considerate human.
My story goes; we are both employed formally but I work from 8am to 7pm and my husband works from 8am-430pm.
I get home around 830 tired and hungry.
I usually arrive home when he has ordered takeaways almost every day.
It is a nice gesture, but I miss a nice home cooked meal.
He is a good cook but his excuse is he will be too tired to cook.
That is why he orders in food and also it helps me not come home and start cooking.
How do I convince him to cook for us even twice a week zvayo.
Tete Joyie Says:
That is such a thoughtful and relatable situation.
You clearly love and appreciate your husband — his care and consideration shine through — but it is also clear that you are longing for something a little more nourishing, both for the body and the heart.
There is something about a home-cooked meal that says: “I thought of you while doing this.”
The beautiful thing is, this is not a confrontation — it is an invitation to reconnect through something he is already good at. Here is a gentle, effective approach you might try:
1. Start with affirmation: Let him know how much you appreciate his effort to make sure you do not have to cook after a long day.
That tells him his actions are not going unnoticed.
2. Express your feelings, not demands: Try something like: “I have been missing the warmth and care that comes with your cooking.
I know we are both tired after work, but even one or two home-cooked meals a week would mean a lot to me.”
3. Make it a shared experience: You could suggest planning meals together over the weekend, or even batch cooking some things that he can warm up on nights you are late.
That way, it does not always feel like a chore to him either.
4. Offer a compromise: Maybe he cooks on a night when he is not too exhausted — like Friday — and then you make it your relaxed, cozy night in together.
You are not asking too much. You are asking to be nurtured in a way that feels personal and familiar.
And chances are, if you express it with love and openness, he will be happy to meet you halfway.
If you are looking for advice on the tricky situation that you find yourself in, WhatsApp 0716069196, and Tete Joyie will assist you in solving the problem. Remember, all those who write in remain anonymous.
