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WE have talked about how to be a virtuous young woman or man.
This is essential for your relationship. Many people have failed relationships and have been hurt very deeply. Others just cannot seem to hold a steady relationship while some are never approached by a decent man or ever accepted by a decent lady that they are attracted to.
It is critical to take an objective look at yourself. Most times the root cause in failed relationships is from within yourself. I am not trying to blame you for the failed relationships (not by any stretch of the imagination), however, it is important to see yourself through the word of God and conduct yourself in such a manner. This will put you in a better position to be in a successful relationship that will lead to marriage.
In Genesis 2:18 God says, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meant for him”.
Relationships are from God and are a normal part of life. However there is a way they must be conducted for you to get the best out of them.
We have received numerous emails from people asking us when one should start dating and what to do when dating, what are the boundaries and for how long should one date before marriage.
We will try to address some of these concerns today by focusing on how to find your soul mate. First, remember that a relationship between a man and a woman is God ordained. Hence there is nothing impure or unholy about it
The devil has manipulated relationships such that in some instances they do not depict God’s original intent. Again we would like to reiterate that God’s intent is man and woman, not woman and woman or man and man. If you are struggling in the area of homosexuality you need to seek assistance from a mature Christian who will be able to assist you in this challenge.
Having said that, let us look at Adam and Isaac because their situations are similar. God is the one who said I need to find a wife for Adam. Similarly Abraham is the one who said Isaac now needs a wife and he sent his servant (Genesis 24).
Both these men were busy doing something that had a positive impact on their future before they had a woman in their life. So before you start looking for a girlfriend, what are you doing today with your life today to have a better future?
Let not the sole purpose of your life be to get into a romantic relationship because that is when you end up being mischievous. Rebekah, Isaac’s wife to be was similar as she was busy working and tending to her family and siblings.
She was unique from all the other girls in the community as she was a down to earth girl who understood the value of people and the value of being principled. This qualified her to be married to the son of the richest man in region at that time.
Esther is another example.
She was tending to her family (through Mordecai) and she was an obedient young girl who had a strong role model in her uncle Mordecai. You can see by her behaviour after she became queen that she was not a slothful person but one given to self-improvement and the betterment of others. As a young woman let not the sole purpose of your life be for marriage.
When you live by these simple principles the Holy Spirit will cause a divine encounter where you will meet your life partner.
Consider Ruth and Boaz. Ruth was a widow and Boaz was a senior bachelor. Before they got together they first of all got to know each other better. (Ruth 2:5 and Ruth 2:20)
Many people just frivolously enter into relationships without any background knowledge of who they are with their main motivation being infatuation. Sadly some people are not entirely honest about themselves but it is encouraged to get to know that person as much as possible before committing your life to them. Moreover in 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers . . .”
Please note that the apostle is writing to the church. So, yes, he means don’t be in relationships with non-Christians. But he also means do not be in a relationship with someone who is weaker than you or who does not believe what you believe. Spend time to know and understand the person you are about to get into a relationship with.
The length of time you court before marriage is entirely dependent upon the two of you. However if you have done your best to step into it well you will discover that you will be on the same page on most of the things that matter for life.
Finally you want someone God-fearing and principled, someone who will make you a better person. Ask God for a life partner today and He will send the right person toward you.
Do not compromise your principles so long as they are aligned with the Word of God. Trust Him to send the right person, He made you, He knows you, and He wants the best for your life, trust Him to answer your prayer. That is all for now, till next week God bless.
Tinashe Zinyemba is a pastor with New Life Covenant Church. Feedback: [email protected]
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