adminHELLO there readers, I hope you are well. I am fighting a flu, but thanks to natural remedies, I am sure I will be fit and free in a week. This week, I thought I would just chill out with all of you and have a chat. Last month was really full with cheating and affairs on both sides (male and female) issues. I truly hope you got the message that this is all not okay. I did not write about it to make people think that I support affairs — NO! I simply have a duty to expose everything and anything relating to affairs. My hope is that in all my columns you will find the positive, but also deal with the negative side of things.
So in response to the last column on mistresses, I had a few unofficial mistresses sending messages with their point of view on the issue.
Sadly though, we call them unofficial because they did not intend to be in these situations. These specific women were married and thought they were happy, until their husbands had affairs and then more affairs, and then left them with nothing.
Now these women turned to other married men for support and guess what — they are the mistresses. And they are not looking back or apologetic. So let us chat, whether you are male, mistress, the wife or husband or just watching from the sidelines. The thing is, there is nothing new under the sun, believe me. So believing that you are the only one going through what you are going through is false.
Every minute someone is going through the very thing someone else has gone through. Just because some people do not talk about their issues does not mean they are not going through life changing stresses or issues. It also does not mean they are not struggling. For instance, I am the type of person that can be going through hell, but you will not know it unless you smell the smoke on me so to speak — kikiki. And there are lots of people around out there.
Most people do not want to air their dirty laundry out for the world to see. As you know once, something is out there, you can’t take it back right?
So now that we know we are not the first or the last going through what we are going through, we must then ask ourselves what is the best solution to the issue we are in?
Sometimes the only way out we see is revenge, right? But to everything in life there are two choices. I promise you readers. Every darkness has a light. Every entry has an exit. Every down has an up and so forth. I am sure you get the picture.
No matter what has happened in your life, you need to decide each move you make carefully people.
Never make a decision when you are in reaction mode (angry/anxious). You need to wait until you are in response mode (calm). Think hard before you choose the path to fight. Sometimes the best peace is the active one.
I am not saying when you have been wronged sit back and let it go. What I am saying is that there are times when you need to fight but from a different direction, then there are times when the fight is not in your hands, it is in the hands of someone else, in case, you are better off waiting until the ball is in your court.
It makes no sense to become a cheat when you have been cheated on. It makes no sense to cause a divorce when someone else caused your divorce. Having said that, though if I was a wife being beaten, I would pack my bags and wait till he was asleep or at work and I would leave, but not without making sure that I have a phone on, recording the last beating he gives me, then taking it to the police, then charging him for wife battering, that is a couple of long months in jail for him.
When he returns, he will return to an empty home. But that is just me! I am sure you get the picture. But it makes no sense for you to go out after your husband when he cheats on you, to also go and cheat on another woman’s husband — why would you want to break up another person’s home when you know how painful it is. That is not revenge, that is cruelty.
In my mind, the best revenge for someone who has been hurt is the one that makes the perpetrator realise that when they leave you, they have left the best thing ever. But if you sink to their level, you prove them right. So what I am saying people is, think before you choose. You have a long life a head of you. Some of the stuff you are doing now, will shame you later in life. Yes, I know that everyone wants to be loved and treated well. But you do not have to go for a married man to have that. There are some good, in fact very good single men out there. And if you are a man who was hurt, there are some very good single women out there.
Never let fear drive you to make decisions you will regret. And for those out there that are happily going around destroying other people relationships and marriages, remember each man has his day, and what you sow you will reap.
Stop this before you number is up. How much hurt can you cause a family before you decide you are now happy.
How happy can you be with someone else’s man or woman? That’s not love, that’s lust and there is never a future in lust. And I always say — love is both ways. You cannot stay in a relationship for long when only one person is in love. In the same way, why would you find excuses for your partner who is cheating on you and if you are the one cheating, why are you still in the other relationship.
This is the height of selfishness. The me, me, game will only get you so far.
Just a little bit for you all to think about. That is it from me now. Until next week God bless!
Anastasia can be contacted on 0772 933 845 (message only)
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