adminHELLO again readers, I hope you are enjoying the hot weather. I have come to believe that I am a walking water tank especially with the amount of water I find myself drinking these days, it is insane. But of course it is necessary. This week, I was asked a question at a wedding I attended: “Is it okay to send invites through Whatsapp or Facebook?
Oh wow . . . this is a difficult one for me. Social media in this generation has taken over most of our communication media and lines, and the reality of it is that people can no longer tell the difference between what we consider etiquette or just plain rude.
I for one have received several invitations via Whatsapp and Facebook, but to tell you the truth I have not attended one wedding where the invitation was not personalised.
I am sorry. I am old school and in my opinion if you cherish my presence at your event that much, it should not be an effort for you to get an invitation to me through acceptable means such as hand delivery, postal delivery or even email if we are not in the same town.
But sending me a Whatsapp or Facebook invitation on a group chat is just too much and disrespectful for me. I mean do you want me to send your wedding present through WhastApp or Facebook too?
Okay, for those who send invitations through the social media, my question to you is: “Did you send your parents or in-laws an invitation through Facebook or Whatsapp or other chat media? If you say yes, you are lying! You probably made up a few really nice invitations and sent them out to those people you consider really important.
It would be disrespectful not to send a proper invitation to your in-laws, relatives, church leaders, boss and the like. So what makes the other people less important?
I would argue that a Facebook invite seems very casual. People might not take it seriously and are far more likely to dismiss it or forget about it. If you take the time to send a nice invite in the mail, people will take the time to read it carefully and give it some proper thought.
I often ask this question; if you knew that the person you were sending an invite to on the group Facebook page had said they were bringing a huge present to the wedding, would you not decide to send them a nice private invitation card with their name specifically?
I personally must ask the motive of the person doing this. My thing is if you are inviting people just for the numbers then go ahead because many of those people will come not to bless you as a couple, but to drink, eat and make merry. Your event is just another nice party. Unless of course you are from a youth generation then it will be considered okay for you to send them invites over Facebook or Whatsapp. The youth are cool that way, anything goes. But anyone with some form of maturity will turn you down or not even reply at all.
My question is this . . .
The fact that you do not want to “waste an invitation” on them tells me they are not close enough friends to be invited. Facebook is not the proper channel for wedding invitations. These invitations will not be taken seriously and you risk offending people when they learn they received a B-list invite. If you don’t consider these people worth the cost of an invitation, you either need cheaper invitations or need not invite them at all.
People talk at weddings, in fact before weddings, so how do you think the people with Facebook invites will feel when they listen to the guests who have real invites talk? Think about it – or don’t you care. Anyway, here is some feedback I received from some of the readers I referred your question to:
Unless you are 12 and this is a pretend wedding, then no, it is not all right to invite someone to a wedding via facebook. That is utterly absurd. – Mr Ruparara.
If you really feel that it would be “wasting” an invitation on them then no, don’t invite them at all. Inviting them via Facebook is kind of tacky. You really don’t care about them being there anyway so just don’t invite them.- Mrs Gomez
What you are suggesting goes beyond impolite.
Wedding invitations are sent by mail. ALWAYS. TO EVERYONE. Whether they choose to attend or not is up to them. If you truly believe sending invitations to people who may not attend is a waste, don’t bother inviting them at all . . .
No, it would not be fine. FB is for chatting and looking at pics of your friends, not for something as important and formal as a wedding invitation. – Tendai.
Anastasia can be messaged on 0772 933 845.
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Moffat Mungazi