Online Reporter
Laina Makuzha
LOVE by DESIGN
As we wrap up the Women’s Month, a time of reflection and growth, we are reminded that transformation starts from within.
So this week I chose to focus on putting in the work to achieve desired results in finding love, adding action to the faith that so many love seekers already uphold.
“The first report is not the last”, you may have heard this repeatedly as I have — this phrase resonates deeply in our journey to find meaningful connections.
If you are seeking love, or marriage — you have likely encountered setbacks, rejections, or disappointments. Maybe you have tried various approaches, only to feel like you are back at square one.
Here is the truth: your story is not over yet.
In my conversations with women seeking love, I have noticed a pattern. Some are eager to put in the work, while others seem to be waiting for someone else to bring a solution or they are only focussing on the spiritual side, the prayer and fasting, while taking no corresponding action.
It is easy to fall into the “been there, done that” mindset, where you dismiss love, pass up chances or disqualify yourself based on past hurtful experience or previously fruitless efforts.
But, what if this time is different? What if the next step, the next conversation, or the next smile is the start of something beautiful?
If you are battling with doubt or cynicism, consider this:
What is the one thing you can try differently this time?
What if the outcome is not what you expect — could it still be valuable? What have you got to lose in seeing love in a positive light and being that light yourself?
How can you approach this with a fresh perspective or new mindset?
Experts advise stepping out of your comfort zone and into spaces where like-minded people gather. Do not wait for love to find you while twiddling your thumbs be proactive.
Attend events, join clubs, serve in your church and/or community, or volunteer. The right connections often happen when we least expect them.
If past relationships have left scars, acknowledge the pain, but do not let it define you.
Ask yourself: What can I learn? What can I improve? Rejection is not your final chapter; it is an opportunity to grow.
Counsellors, family, friends pastors and all spiritual leaders can only do so much.
The Bible says in James 1:22, “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only.” Prepare yourself for the love you seek. Invest in personal growth, groom yourself, and show up intentionally.
One insightful coach suggests taking your “wish list” of partner qualities and embodying them yourself. Want kindness, honesty, humour, and wisdom in a partner? Cultivate those traits in yourself. Do not demand out of others, qualities you are not willing to also bring to the table.
It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking the world owes us something. We have served, given, and sacrificed, and now it is someone else’s turn, right? Wrong. Faith without works is dead, my sister.
What kind of partner do you hope to be? What values and standards do you hold dear? More importantly, what kind of partner are you becoming?
Bishop George of Logos Church International, recently challenged believers to be “as wise as serpents”. He reminded all who desire to achieve anything in this life, including singles desiring marriage, that while we pray and wait expectantly for open doors, we must prepare ourselves for that which we are waiting for. “Do not waste time waiting for something while doing nothing,” he said.
Develop yourself, research, study, invest in your image, and show up intentionally. Jesus prepared himself before His ministry took off. Remember the 40 days and 40 nights in the wilderness (Mat4v1-11), even the recruiting of disciples that he did, knowing exactly what He wanted to accomplish.
So, what are you doing while waiting for your God-given partner?
Are you developing yourself, doing the basics too, such as personal grooming, dressing your best with what you have, and hanging out in the right places where you would meet people that resonate with your life purpose?
What is holding you back? Decide where you are going, what you want to achieve, and go for it strategically.
To all the women seeking love, I say: you are not alone, yet your journey is unique, and God’s timing is perfect. Do not compare yourself to others or measure your success by someone else’s ruler.
Focus on your inner beauty, kindness and becoming the best version of yourself. The right person will be drawn to the real you and at the right time. You deserve it, and I am rooting for you.
As we approach Easter holidays, a time of reflection and celebration of God’s amazing grace, let us keep hope alive, empower each other to break barriers and embrace possibilities, through support and sharing experiences and insights. Happy Easter one and all. Do spread some love.
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