adminAnn Ruthenburg
HELLO there everyone, I hope you all had a fabulous Valentine’s Day. Mine was spent at a wedding – an absolutely beautiful wedding (I love attending weddings). The ceremony went beautifully, but weirdly, once the reception started there came with it a terribly heavy downpour. The wedding was held at a hotel in the mountains and so the downpour was like three times more than in town.
Then the hailstones came down and we could not hear anything the master of ceremonies was saying.
Then the food ran out, so we had to wait for a long while more food came (I think the hotel failed to handle the three big events they were having on the day).
We eventually left close to 9pm and went straight to look for food in town. I hope the couple was not charged for the last plates to arrive because the plates did not have the full menu. Anyway, I wish the couple all the best and I am sorry for the crazy downpour and the hotel’s poor planning. But it was an absolutely beautiful wedding.
You are free to invite me to your weddings anytime. I promise I will try not to look at everything going wrong there kikiki.
Anyway for the next few weeks we will be discussing an issue that so many readers ask me about – THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES.
I have in the past written about this topic, but not in detail. I had no idea so many people found it helpful, so I shall try and go into detail.
So what is this LOVE LANGUAGE stuff. Well, every human has what we call a Love Language. It is a language they respond to that makes them feel like they are loved. Or it is something they like to do that expresses their love for the other person.
Now a lot of times these languages are treated as if they are unnecessary or problematic especially if the other person is behaving excessively. But if each couple learns what it is that their partner reacts too; it would be wise for that partner to do. I promise you when I found out my love languages, it changed a whole lot of things for me. And when my partner found out my love language – it ended many fights and accusations. Also you must realise that a person may like to give a certain love language, but may not necessarily want it back, they might want something else. So what are the big five? They are Quality time, Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical touch. Yup, that is them. I shall go through each one one by one each week. I hope you have fun identifying which is your partner’s love language.
Or if you are single you can find out what yours is, which will help you out in your relationships. Our first one for this week is “Words of Affirmation”.
Using words to affirm another person is one key way to express love. Affirmation may focus on the person’s behaviour, physical appearance or personality. The words may be spoken, written or even sung. People whose whole primary love language is words of affirmation, receive such affirming words like water on dry soil. Remember these love languages are not just for lovers, they are good for parents to kids, friendships, church relationships etc.
There are so many words you can use here are a few:
◆ You look nice I that dress/shirt
◆ You did a good job with that speech/assignment
◆ I appreciate it when you took my side on that issue in front of people
◆ I appreciate it when you fixed the plumbing or got someone to fix the plumbing
◆ Thanks for cleaning your room/making your bed
◆ I appreciate it when you took the garbage out.
◆ That was a great meal
◆ Thank you for all your hard work.
So how does one know this is one’s love language? Well, the individual probably asks constantly, how do I look?
Do you like what I am wearing? You never said thank you when I did that. I did my best, but you didn’t comment and so forth. If you did not express love thoughts at Valentine’s Day, whether it is in a poem or letter or card, I bet your partner is not happy with you.
For instance, I was taken to a wedding on Valentine’ Days, but I would have preferred to have a lovely card I could keep forever and maybe a box of chocolates or a romantic dinner. It is not like I did not enjoy the wedding, but I love the words and I love the quality time because I am a very private person. I can’t help it – it is my love language.
So if one doesn’t understand that, one might think I am an ungrateful little person. This is not true!
Those other things just do not make me feel loved as much as if I was affirmed or if my loved one spent hours with me kikiki.
Now it is a shame if once you find out the love language of someone, you decide to use it to get favours or to get them to do things your own way – that is not fair. And if you do that – shame on you!
It is not hard, your partner might even know what their love language is and they may tell you if you asked them.
Think about it, if you have someone around you who is always complaining about you never being there – possibly their love language is “Quality time”. Or if you have someone who is always complaining that you never buy them anything; maybe “gifts” are their thing.
So I hope you all have fun finding out whose love language is and experimenting on the effects over the next four weeks.
Love languages are simply there to help avoid some of those misunderstanding in relationships and to make the other person feel appreciated and loved.
Okay so that is it from me for now.
Until next week God Bless!
◆ Anastasia can be messaged on 0772 933 845.
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