‘I may have infected my boyfriend with HIV!’

I am a 20-year-old girl living with my grandmother and siblings. During winter, I suffered from a very severe flu that wouldn’t go away naturally. After going to the hospital I was advised to get tested for HIV and I tested positive.

The biggest issue Tete is that I have a boyfriend who loves me so much he plans to marry me. I haven’t told him about my status because I fear he will leave me for he is my everything.

The worst thing is that we have had unprotected sex several times. I am afraid and worried that I may have infected him. Please help me.

Tete Barbara Responds
It is unfortunate that you both did not think of counselling and testing prior to having sexual relations. Encouraging those wanting to get into sexual activity to get tested first avoids complex situations and trying to prove who infected who.

You did not say if he was your first partner or whether he is your only. I must commend you for going to the hospital when you were not feeling well rather than just ignoring your condition in the hope that it would go away naturally.

Seeking medical attention helped to reveal your HIV status thus giving you an opportunity to live a positive life. Knowing your status allows you to make decisions concerning your diet, medication and also relationships.

Having said that, answer this question as honestly as possible. Do you believe that your boyfriend also deserves the right to know his status? Your being afraid of his reaction is only natural but you must find the strength to reveal your status.

However, I do not advise you to tell him on your own, rather talk to a trained counsellor about your situation and then take your partner to them for joint session followed by testing. If you truly love him, you will let him make an informed decision. Allow yourself to live a guilt free and honest life.
Be strong!