— Inkundla kazulu —Phos’ elakho: Tshitshi umfazi womuntu uyatsha!

Research from the Gottman Institute shows that couples who “turn toward” each other’s bids for attention, small requests for interest, affirmation, or shared joy, build stronger long-term bonds. Ignoring or minimising those bids erodes trust over time.

IBHAYIBHILI, incwadi engcwele iyafundisa ukuthi umuntu lomkakhe emveni komtshado bazakuba nyama nye. Kugwalo luka-Ekisodasi kumilayo elitshumi lilaya ukuthi “ungafebi”, ibuye itsho ukuthi “ungahawukeli umkamakhelwane wakho.”

Kodwa bakhona abacina besehluleka ukuzithiba inkanuko zabo zenyama uzwe sebecatsha ngomunwe bethi yimvelo.

Siyake sibone kumbe sibale kumaphephandaba lakunkundla ezehlukeneyo zokuxhumana sekwenzakale inkalakatha yehlazo. Phela bakhona abanye obaba abathiya omkabo ngemithi yesintu. Ungavele uzame nje ukuthi ucitshe umhawu unathe emthonjeni ongasi wakho lixakelane.

Abanye baze balixakulule ngemva kokuba usuhlawule lokho athi uyakufuna ngesizatho sokuba uyabe ufohle emzini wakhe.

Ngikhumbula enye indoda eyayihlonipheka esigabeni yanamathelana lomfazi wenjiva abomdeni benza yonke imizamo yokuba babaxakulule kodwa kwehlula kwaze kwamelelwa yona injiva ukuthi ibuye.

Njengoba leGoli kukude yayabuya ngemva kwensuku ezimbalwa lezizigangi lokhe zibhinqika okwecimbi elehluleka ukungena phansi ngoba umhlabathi womile kulugwadula.

Loba babehlaba umkhosi, behlahle lamehlo bethi basebuhlungiwini akukho owayengabasiza ngaphandle kwendoda le eyayisiza ivela eGoli.

Abanye njalo ngabathiya ngolunyoka lokukhukhumalisa isisu umuntu aphenduke unanane kumbe lolu olokuvuvukisa isitho sangasese owesilisa aze ehluleke lokufaka ibhulugwe.

Ngikhumbula ukhulu wami ozala ubaba wayethi nxa esebona ukuthi abazukulu bakhe sebejwaqile sebedlulile ebubhungwini sebengamadoda ababize abaxwayise ukuthi omunye lomunye kazidingele ingoduso yakhe hatshi umfazi womuntu ngoba uzokhela amalahle ekhanda njalo uyabe uzibizela ingcwaba.

Ayixabene.