Online Reporter
Laina Makuzha
LOVE by DESIGN
It’s the holiday season ! I hope you are well, refreshed, and had a wonderful Easter surrounded by family and friends at home, or worshipped alongside fellow believers at a vibrant Easter conference.
This season indeed reminds us that love conquers all, and that joy in Christ is a gift we can freely share.
Jordan Cooper recently wrote: “We’ve been trained to look for depression in tear-stained faces and dishevelled appearances. But here’s what we miss: some of the people struggling most with joy have perfected the art of looking like they have it all figured out. They’ve traded feeling for functioning, and they’ve gotten so good at it that even they might not realise what’s happening.”
This piercing observation is not only about mental health — it applies and speaks volumes about relationships and marriage. Too often, couples and individuals wear masks of strength, composure, and “having it all together,” while inside they are battling loneliness, disconnection, and silent despair.
In Zimbabwe, where divorce cases are rising at alarming rates as recently reported, this hidden turmoil is eroding the family unit right before our eyes. Many are tempted to quit and some singles now say they are discouraged from seeking marriage. Yet marriage, when built on God’s foundation, remains a divine covenant worth fighting for.
The silent battles behind smiles
In relationships, functioning without feeling looks like couples who keep the household running — bills paid, children fed, appearances maintained — yet intimacy, joy, and spiritual connection are absent. It looks like singles who pray for marriage but neglect the inner healing and preparedness required to sustain it. Depression and emotional fatigue often hide behind polished appearances, and unless we pay attention, we miss the cries for help.
The Bible reminds us: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4). Joy is not found in appearances but in Christ. When couples lose sight of this, they trade authentic connection for mechanical coexistence.
Marriage as God’s divine purpose
Marriage is not designed for suffering or violence — God does not call anyone to endure abuse. Instead, He calls marriages to conquer the enemy and reflect His divine love. As Tongue of Fire Ministry Founder Lorna Vaughn insightfully puts it, “A wife is a warrior for her husband.” This means standing together in prayer, in resilience, and in love, not against each other but against forces that seek to destroy unity.
Jesus Himself invites us: “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). Couples must learn to bring their burdens to Christ, not to each other’s throats. In doing so, they rediscover the joy of partnership.
Easter lessons: Love that conquers
As we celebrate Easter, we are reminded of the ultimate love sacrifice. Christ bore our burdens, teaching us that love is not selfish but sacrificial. In relationships, this means being our brother’s keeper — watching over our spouse, our colleagues, our friends, and even strangers who may be silently struggling. Depression, loneliness, and wild coping mechanisms are rampant, but God’s love calls us to notice, to care, and to act.
Practical tips for couples and singles
To prevent marriages from becoming hollow shells — and drawing from Jordan Cooper’s insight — couples and singles aspiring for marriage must pay attention not only to appearances but to the heart.
- Check beyond appearances: Ask your spouse or loved one how they really feel, not just how they are coping.
- Prioritise intimacy over routine: Do not let marriage become a business partnership. Laugh together, pray together, dream together.
- Prepare while you pray: For singles, readiness for marriage means emotional healing, financial wisdom, and spiritual maturity.
- Be each other’s keeper: Notice changes in mood, energy, or behaviour. Depression can easily hide behind competence.
- Anchor joy in Christ: True joy is not circumstantial — it flows from abiding in God’s presence.
A call to couples
Divorce may seem like the easy way out, but rebuilding, reconciling, and recommitting are worth the effort. Marriage is God- ordained, and when nurtured, it becomes a fortress against the enemy. Let us not abandon the family unit but strengthen it with love, prayer, and intentional care. Even if circumstances seem to push you apart, let it be temporary, while you each pray and work on yourselves. Lorna Vaughn’s story of her marriage restoration after divorce is worth hearing.
I invite you, dear reader, to share your thoughts and experiences. How have you seen ‘functioning without feeling’ play out in your relationships or community, if at all? Your insights are vital in this conversation.
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, we lift up all who are silently struggling with depression, loneliness, or brokenness in their relationships and their own lives. May Your love bring healing, Your joy bring strength, and Your Spirit bring renewal. Restore marriages, prepare singles, and remind us that in You, we find rest. May the power and victory in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ remain our victory and revival. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Feedback: Connect on Facebook: Naledi Laina Makuzha, or Whatsapp/SMS: +263719102572
dyton mupawaenda