adminPARENTING a teenager is never easy, but when your teen is violent, depressed, abusing alcohol or drugs, or engaging in other reckless behaviours, it can seem overwhelming. You may feel exhausted from lying awake at night worrying about where your child is, who he or she is with, and what they’re doing. You may despair over failed attempts to communicate, the endless fights, and the open defiance. Or you may live in fear of your teen’s violent mood swings and explosive anger. While parenting a troubled teen can often seem like an impossible task, there are steps you can take to ease the chaos at home and help your teen transition into a happy, successful young adult.
Normal teen versus troubled teen behaviour
As teenagers begin to assert their independence and find their own identity, many experience behaviour changes that can seem bizarre and unpredictable to parents. Your sweet, obedient child who once couldn’t bear to be separated from you now won’t be seen within 20 yards of you, and greets everything you say with a roll of the eyes or the slam of a door. These, unfortunately, are the actions of a normal teenager.
As the parent of a troubled teen, you’re faced with even greater challenges. A troubled teen faces behaviour, emotional, or learning problems beyond the normal teenage issues. They may repeatedly practice at-risk behaviours such as violence, skipping school, drinking, drug use, sex, self-harming, shoplifting, or other criminal acts. Or they may exhibit symptoms of mental health problems like depression, anxiety, or eating disorders. While any negative behaviour repeated over and over can be a sign of underlying trouble, it’s important for parents to understand which behaviours are normal during adolescent development, and which can point to more serious problems.
Seeking professional help for a troubled teen
All teens need to feel loved
Teenagers are individuals with unique personalities and their own likes and dislikes. Some things about them are universal, though. No matter how much your teen seems to withdraw from you emotionally, no matter how independent your teen appears, or how troubled your teen becomes, he or she still needs your attention and to feel loved by you.
If you identify red flag behaviours in your teen, consult a doctor, counsellor, therapist, or other mental health professional for help finding appropriate treatment.
Even when you seek professional help for your teen, though, that doesn’t mean that your job is done. As detailed below, there are many things you can do at home to help your teen and improve the relationship between you.
And you don’t need to wait for a diagnosis to start putting them into practice.
Understanding teen development
No, your teen is not an alien being from a distant planet, but he or she is wired differently. A teenager’s brain is still actively developing, processing information differently than a mature adult’s brain.
The frontal cortex—the part of the brain used to manage emotions, make decisions, reason, and control inhibitions—is restructured during the teenage years, forming new synapses at an incredible rate, while the whole brain does not reach full maturity until about the mid-20’s.
Your teen may be taller than you and seem mature in some respects, but often he or she is simply unable to think things through at an adult level.
Hormones produced during the physical changes of adolescence can further complicate things.
Now, these biological differences don’t excuse teens’ poor behaviour or absolve them from accountability for their actions, but they may help explain why teens behave so impulsively or frustrate parents and teachers with their poor decisions, social anxiety, and rebelliousness. Understanding adolescent development can help you find ways to stay connected to your teen and overcome problems together.
Teens see anger everywhere
Teens differ from adults in their ability to read and understand emotions in the faces of others. Adults use the prefrontal cortex to read emotional cues, but teenagers rely on the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for emotional reactions.
In research, teens often misread facial expressions; when shown pictures of adult faces expressing different emotions, teens most often interpreted them as being angry.
Anger and violence in teenagers
If you feel threatened by your teen. Everyone has a right to feel physically safe. If your teen is violent towards you, seek help immediately. Call a friend, relative, or the police if necessary.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your child, but the safety of you and your family should always come first.
If you are a parent of a teenage boy who is angry, aggressive, or violent, you may live in constant fear. Every phone call or knock on the door could bring news that your son has either been harmed, or has seriously harmed others. – Online.
Online Reporter