adminAnne Ruthenburg Marriage Doctor
HELLO there again people. I hope you had a great week especially with the long weekend we just had. Unfortunately for some of us we had to work, but for those who had leisure time, I hope you behaved yourself.
Anyway, I have some exciting information I have been gathering on this topic and I can’t wait to share it with you. I even had women call me and tell me they are the ones having affairs with married men, and they gave me tips on why married men turn to them.
But then again on the other hand, if he is just being a man and showing signs of maybe being tempted, you might want to step up your game babe and make him realise you are way better than the second best he is wanting to cheat with.
That said; here are a variety of reasons why men may stray from their partners.
1. Inability to say no. He attracts sexy women who come onto him, and he doesn’t know how to say “no.”
2. To boost his ego – Infidelity is an ego boost for a man with low self esteem – especially if he’s less successful or earns less money than his.
3. Peer Pressure. He spends a lot of time in the company of people who cheat. His workmates, or close friends are cheating on their mates. So he succumbs to peer pressure and cheats to be part of the crowd.
4. To end the relationship. Sometimes a cheating man will have what is called an “exit affair” because he wants end the marriage or relationship.
5. Because you let him – He cheated before you let him get away with it. See If He’s Cheating, Take a Firm Stand.
6. He views it as a status symbol. Many men consider it a status symbol to be able to afford a mistress. He may view it as one of the trappings of success.
8. To see what it’s like to have sex with someone else. Men who married young, or had limited sex experience before settling down, may cheat to see what they might have missed.
9. Because he knows he can get away with it. He cheated before and you didn’t find out, so he’s confident he can do it again.
10. Opportunistic sex. He was presented with an opportunity to cheat without the fear of getting caught, so he took advantage of the situation.
11. A sense Of entitlement. Many men feel they’re so rich, famous, handsome, sexy, charming etc., that they are entitled to cheat because of who they are.
12. He figures you’ll never find out. – He thinks you’re too stupid, too naïve, too busy, too in love with them, too trusting to find out, or even suspect that he’s having an affair.
13. To prove his manhood. Some men think that the more women they have sex with, the more manly they are. They think cheating is a macho thing to do
14. The thrill of the chase. Some cheaters actually thrive on the excitement generated by a secret affair. They view all the ducking, dodging and sneaking around infidelity involves as a form of recreation, or a high-risk sport.
15. He’s a player. He’s a hardcore cheater for whom cheating is a way of life. He likes having lots of women and pitting one against the other. To him, it’s just a game.
16. He knows you’ll take him back. He knows you’ll never leave him. He cheated before and you didn’t hesitate to take him back without making him go through any changes or holding him accountable for his behaviour.
17. Love. Some men cheat because they’re really in love with the other woman. It may have started out as a cyber affair, or an innocent friendship that became an emotional affair, which progressed to sexual infidelity.
18. Poor role models. If his father, uncles, or other male role models cheated, he may be subconsciously programmed to follow their example, considering infidelity to be the norm – especially if the female role models in his life tolerated the infidelity.
19. To participate in certain sex acts. Some men cheat to fulfil their sexual fantasies, or because they want kinky sex, or sex acts their wives or girlfriends won’t perform.
20. The influence of drugs or alcohol. A great deal of infidelity ( especially one night stands) can be attributed to the influence drugs or alcohol, which can lower inhibitions, and impair good judgment, resulting in behaviour the cheater may later regret
21. Cultural reasons. – He may come from a culture where it’s common for men to have mistresses.
22. To see if he’s still “got it.” Men in their 50’s and older sometimes cheat just to reaffirm their sexuality.
23. He knows you’ll put up with his cheating. Some men cheat because they know their partner will look the other way – as long as they’re discreet, keep their infidelity low key, and avoid publicly embarrassing their mate.
25. Sex addiction. – Probably the only reason on this list that can halfway be excused because true sex addiction is a medical condition in which the cheater really can’t help himself. If he’s truly a sex addict, he needs to get professional help. But true sex addiction is not as common as men would have you believe.
Personally I say if your man or woman is cheating on you, get mad then get even and if things do not change’ then get out,
That’s it from me folks, until next week God bless!
◆ You can message Anastasia on 0772933845 (no calls).
Disclaimer: Please note information in this column is based on a mixture of research, science, theory and opinion. As much as the majority information given in these columns is tried and tested; the Marriage Dr can in no way guarantee, that advice given will work for everyone. Every couples situation is different, and therefore if you choose to implement the advice given in each column – do so by analysing your own relationship and then with much maturity and patience, only applying those things to your relationship that may apply. Marriage Dr or the Newspaper can in no way accept responsibility for the outcome (positive or negative) – your relationship is your responsibility, accepting that is 33the beginning of change.
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