The stuff that people go through silently . . .

Fadzayi Maposah
Correspondent

There is a Shona saying that goes “kutaura kwausina kuswera”, loosely translated it means talking about events that happened where you did not spend the day.

It refers to talking about things that you do not know about. Is this not what many people do? They talk about issues they have no information about as if they are experts.

At times they talk about an issue as if they experienced it, and in the process eyewitnesses are made to feel less                                 important.

I have lived the experience of menstruation. I have shared that for many years, I did not experience menstrual discomfort or cramps.

The last few years have taught me never to say never.  I have experienced period discomfort and cramps. I have experienced heavy flow that I had only heard others speak of. My periods have become irregular while they were always punctual!

Now with getting to menopause, the whole story is different.

There are young girls who experience what I am talking about and for them it is a “normal” occurrence. They have no idea that menstruation can be smooth sailing. They dread each monthly visit. Then there are people who claim that they are not being strong enough.

It is totally insensitive to dismiss what one considers as pain as lack of strength. Pain and strength are both relative. It matters to ask yourself, from which perspective am I looking at this issue?

Talking about younger women, I want to focus on one of my young cheerleaders, Prim. She is always cheering me from the terraces, and in most instances, she comes down to join me on the field in many of my life events. Prim is bubbly and when I spend time with her, I get to laugh and smile a lot. She is very good at expressing herself and her emotions.

I have known her since end of 2005. Her mother is a friend who has become family, a very close sister, but this is about Prim, not her mother.

Prim and I have a good understanding, that is the foundation of our relationship. She is one of the people I have literally watched as they grow!

As part of her undergraduate degree programme, she had to conduct an artistic exhibition and she asked me to be the guest of honour.

I was really honoured because she even prepared a speech for me (which she said I could edit as I pleased), and I even got an appreciation hamper at the end of the event that she had personally packed, so it contained what I love. She knows me very well, that I love talking and treats!

I am really thankful for the young woman that she is turning out to be. I said earlier that Prim is a content creator in her own right.

I have realised that she has great potential in disseminating information and does not just post things that will fizzle away. I view a lot of what Prim posts, it is thought provoking.

She will occasionally post riddles that need solving, or need time so that they can be unravelled. I have the benefit that if I am confused, I reach out to her to solve the mystery and she responds.

She may start by asking me a few questions, because she is curious, but eventually we will get to the answers. Prim loves sharing what she knows, I consider her to be a natural teacher.

I am sharing two posts that she shared on social media this week on polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).

According to the World Health Organisation, PCOS is a common hormonal condition that affects women of reproductive age. It usually starts in adolescence, but symptoms may vary over time.

It is estimated that up to 70 percent of affected women globally remain undiagnosed. PCOS runs in families, but there are variations in how it manifests and affects people.

Fatigue with PCOS is so real and it is hard to explain unless you have lived it. Imagine going to bed early, getting your eight hours of sleep, but still waking up really drained.

It is not laziness, it is not bad habits, it is your hormones working against you. Some days just getting out of bed feels like carrying a heavy load before the day has even begun.

Now add the other problems in the world on top of that. You finally push yourself to be productive, step out of the house and instead of support, you are met with body shaming.

Some point at your bloated stomach, another mocks your ingrown hairs and your acne decides to shine brighter than your highlighter.

You try to treat yourself with clothes but the shopkeeper acts like your size is a UFO (unidentified flying object), like my size is a mystery number on the chart.

Exhausted, you grab some ice cream to comfort yourself, only for people to act like that’s all you have ever eaten. Like Ma’am, maybe I am healing my feelings, not marrying the Dairy Queen.

This is why kindness matters.

Women with PCOS fight silent battles every day, but the truth is so does everyone else. You never know what someone is going through.

Please be kind always to all, everyone, everywhere. #PCOSAwareness Month Cysters#justuniquewomenwithanovarydecoratedwithpearls.`

These loaded posts need to be unpacked so that we all get to know more about some conditions that we may be experiencing! For the sake of the between 6 percent and 13 percent of women who are affected by PCOS worldwide, it is important to break the silence.

The statistics are also important to consider since the affected women have families and live in the same communities as us.

This month, my articles will focus on PCOS and other stuff that people go through silently.