Online Reporter
You Can’t Make This Up!
IF there was ever a group of criminals determined to personally assist the police with investigations, then four Gwanda men have surely earned themselves lifetime membership in the Dumbest Criminals Hall of Fame.
Fonet Maranganya (27), Malvin Maranganya (19), Prince Sibanda (22) and Tatenda Ndlovu (23) thought they had come up with a brilliant plan: lure a mine worker into a fake gold deal, snatch his cash, fire a few warning shots like movie gangsters and disappear into the night like seasoned criminals. Instead, they ended up leaving behind enough evidence to practically fill out their own charge sheets.
Last week, the Gwanda Magistrates’ Court rewarded the quartet’s spectacular criminal misadventure with an effective 10-year prison sentence each after convicting them of robbery.
Their troubles began on April 1, 2026 — fittingly on April Fool’s Day — when they descended on Ben Shire Mine, Bar 20, in Gwanda, hunting for quick cash while disguised as gold dealers. The target was mine worker Learnmore Magodhi (39), who was approached by the gang around 7pm with promises of a gold transaction.
At first, everything appeared legit. The four men reportedly acted like genuine sellers, while Magodhi prepared money to complete the purchase. But soon enough, the gang abandoned all pretence. As Magodhi counted the cash, one of the suspects allegedly grabbed the money and chaos erupted.
Apparently believing they were starring in a low-budget action film, one of the robbers then produced a pistol and fired two shots at the victim. Unfortunately for the gang, Magodhi had not read the script.
Instead of surrendering, the mine worker dramatically fought back. And not just ordinary fighting back. The court heard that during the struggle, Magodhi managed to disarm the gunman and, in what must have been one of the least expected developments of the evening, bit the attacker on the hand. That single bite appears to have instantly drained all criminal confidence from the group.
The “fearless” armed robbers suddenly transformed into Olympic sprinters and fled the scene in panic. But in their rush to escape, the gang committed the sort of mistakes that make detectives smile warmly inside police stations. They abandoned a Samsung cellphone, clothing items, sandals and even the blank pistol used during the robbery.
Essentially, the robbers left behind a starter pack for investigators. The police did not need spiritual intervention, sniffer dogs or complicated forensic technology.
The suspects had thoughtfully scattered clues around the crime scene like wedding confetti. Investigators later tracked down one of the suspects, who, perhaps realising the mission had already collapsed beyond repair, helped police locate the others.
The gang had managed to steal R15 000 cash, which was not recovered.
What was recovered, however, was enough evidence to send all four men to prison.
The court sentenced the quartet to 12 years’ imprisonment each, with two years suspended for five years on condition of good behaviour, leaving them with an effective 10-year jail term.
