adminMy mum died last year. It was expected, but me and my brothers are still suffering. What makes it worse is that my dad’s new wife is trying to take my mum’s place.
I like her and think that she’s trying to be nice, but she’s just driving me mad and upsetting us all. She never knew how my mum was and so is coming on all sweet but is being really bossy and wanting to know what we’re thinking and where we’re going, etc. She says things like, “now I’m your mum, it’s best to do it my way as we don’t want to fall out.”
It’s going to cause trouble soon I’m sure because one of us is going to say something and that will annoy and upset my dad.
We’re not stupid, our mum was great, and we don’t need anyone trying to teach us what to do. I don’t want to row with my dad but don’t know what to say. Please help if you can. Thanks.
First, I am so sorry about your mother. I don’t know how old you are, but whatever age – it doesn’t matter, losing a mother is tragic and my heart goes out to you all.
Now you know I’m going to tell you that I think your stepmother is just trying to do the right thing – and I’m sure she is.
However, with the best intentions in the world – we still get some things wrong.
You are going to have to be grown up here and manage this situation – as you have already done by writing to me.
First, you must speak to your father alone – and calmly, explaining your feelings. DO try to be nice about your stepmother to him, remember he will want to be loyal to her and moaning about this and that will only irritate him, making him less likely to see your side.
Tell him – you really all want to get on as a family, and ask him to help you make that happen.
You taking such an adult attitude will gain his respect, and while you have his attention you can explain all. Be prepared for him to support his new wife… but you belong to him, and there’s no bond in the world stronger than a parent’s love – and I think he will come through for you all in this.
Good luck, darling, I’m always here and will be delighted to help in any way I can always.
Much love Jxx.
Online Reporter