adminFredrick Qaphelani Mabikwa Successful Solutions
I LOST two colleagues recently, one in a car accident and another after a short illness. These two sudden deaths got me thinking deeply about life — life is indeed short. The Good Book says a human being is given 70 years — anything after that is bonus. It’s almost a culture that we don’t want to talk about death but the fact is when born, the next major event is death. We are all moving graves, what will differ in our deaths is when, how and where but dying is a fact.
I just want us in this article to remind ourselves that life is precious and short, live it now. We should make the best of it now and enjoy it while it lasts because we don’t know when we are “called”. Let us not defer happiness. Let us not defer those things we like doing and keep us going and say we will do it tomorrow, for tomorrow may never come. I have heard people say “I will buy a car when I finish building.” Yes that’s a mature decision but when are you going to finish building?
Yours truly built a house (the house that Jack built) – building takes forever. Most of these people you see staying in their houses, the houses are not yet complete. Some people even die and the children finish off the building. You can’t defer life because you’re building. I have heard people say I will do this and that when my children finish school and I have no fees to pay – but when are the children going to finish school – they fail and repeat, they proceed to college and you are still paying fees?
You see a man who can afford a decent car, walking and boarding commuter omnibuses and wonder where his money is. He is using it for important things. What are those important things that are not your comfort and happiness? We don’t get to dress the way we want to dress and eat the way we want to eat because we are saving or doing some “important projests”. Yes when you are in a project you save but I am against this idea where you find someone is really suffering because of the project. Life is now — you don’t know how much time you have on this earth. While we save for projects life must not stop.
You find a man is scantily dressed, he doesn’t even have proper shoes — he is wearing a shoe that resembles a canoe because he is doing a project. Then what happens soon after finishing the project, the man dies of fatigue and the related stress. I have seen this before. I am not saying men die after completing projects, but I saw a man who had literary stopped living because of his building project. He couldn’t even drop a dollar. He went without lunch at times at work. When he had lunch it was from these corner shops whose health standards are questionable. He died soon after finishing his project.
All I am saying is that when I saw the way my colleagues died I was just reminded of the fact the life is now. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You get to a homestead, you can’t separate the maid from the lady of the house because she is saving. You look at the clothes she is wearing and the only question you ask is — where did she buy these clothes? You are working — that body that works the money needs to be dressed well and fed properly.
It’s important to take time out with that little money and spoil yourself once in a while with those things that you like. Some people will ask “how can I do so with this economy?” Some of us have ceased to have the slightest social life and without a social life what happens, you have more stress and more stress means deteriorating health. Just operate within your means and take time to spoil yourself, spoil your family, spoil your parents and even your siblings if you can afford.
Have the quality time you desire now. A rich friend of mine last year took his family to Borabora islands through the USA. I didn’t even know that there were such islands in the world. They told me great stories of their holiday. Time out does refresh the mind; it does refresh the body, especially in these challenging times. I am not saying take all your money and go and drink and be merry, no, you will be in trouble tomorrow. But just to say when the budget permits do these things you like to do now. Go to those places you want to go and eat the food you want to eat and drive a car you can afford. It’s not all about money. It’s also to do with human fellowship. There is a lot of happiness in socialising with or without money. There is a lot of joy and happiness at church – go out and socialise.
Now some of us, I included, we have not even taken our children to see the orphaned animals at Chipangali — 30 km from Bulawayo. We haven’t gone to Matopos.We can’t even go for a family outing, say for a braai because the moment we see meat we see relish. We can’t all go to Borabora islands but we can try some local place and take time out and spoil ourselves in a small way.
Do not take yourself too seriously, no one else does. Strive to be happy. Forget issues of the past — life is now. Don’t remind your partner of their mistakes of the past, it spoils your present happiness. Make peace with your past so that it doesn’t spoil your present happiness. Life is too short to waste hating people and hatching plans to bring them down and thinking of what bad things to do to them. Smile and laugh more. Some people never laugh, they think laughing is naive. Some people never smile; faces are always as blank as the wall. Don’t worry about disagreements at work. You can’t win all arguments.
Don’t worry about what people think and say about you — that’s not your business, it’s theirs. Hard times won’t kill you. No matter how a situation is it will change.
Be happy now, don’t defer happiness, comfort and peace of mind. When you realise you have managed to open your eyes in the morning – thank God and be happy and tell Him you are going to be happy in this other day He has given you.
Even when chips are down, wake up, dress up well, show up — the best is yet to come – life is now, so live it.
Online Reporter