adminApostle Langton Kanyati
WHEN a man and a woman commit themselves to each other, they are sealed with the sign of a covenant: an unending circle, which is symbolised by the ring.
This goes round and never ends, symbolising God’s intent for marriage. It’s to be a circle of unending love. Marriage is a place where a couple can freely express their love for one another at the deepest level. That is spirit, soul and body.
It is something very beautiful, holy, honourable and wonderful as God designed. This is a place where you can say to the person to whom you are committed your whole life to, “I love you, and do give the totality of myself to you.”
God’s Word says, “Marriage is honourable among all and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13v3)
Fornication is the sexual act between single people. Adultery is when one or both of the couple commit who commit a sexual act are married but not to each other.
God treats fornication and adultery in the same light. Unlike in the married, there is no commitment, no bond, no union and no covenant. They are a violation of God’s word and whether we like it or not God says commit such acts He will judge. By the way sex among the married is not dirty, wrong or unclean.
The marriage bed has to do with the sexual act of marriage, and this is honourable, holy and undefiled.
When the unmarried are sexually involved or if one cheats against his or her spouse, the freedom, joy, pureness and inner peace in their lives are gone because they would have violated God’s laws. So commit yourself to stay pure before God.
God intends that there be intimacy between the husband and wife so that the physical, emotional and total needs of both can be met in that relationship. This kind of intimacy takes work and commitment. Thus couples should be open and transparent with each other. Nothing is hidden or restrained in a truly intimate relationship.
Sometimes individuals complain that, “my spouse when we are in bed always say I am tired”. They are tired only when it’s about sex but everything else they are not tired. This shows there are some problems somewhere and it will be for their best interest to discuss about it or seek advise especially from people you both honour and respect to share with such issues. You cannot be tired every day.
Don’t starve your mate.
Some individuals do not want such issues to be brought before anyone, even their pastors, counsellors or mentors. They want to pretend as if all is well when in actual fact the “house” is burning. This is a recipe for disaster.
In my previous article, when I spoke about interference from friends or relatives I was discussing about the need for the married to be let to run their own new home. Being married it means you are mature enough to make your own decisions for the best of your home but this also does not mean you don’t need to have anyone involved in your issues.
The people you seek help from should not be seen to be taking sides as you deal with any issues regarding your marriage. They must rather be neutral and constructive with the sole aim of dealing with your problems whatever they may be.
When you start thinking about your mate, start thinking about how you would take care of yourself. When your flesh wants to eat you feed it. When your flesh wants sleep, you sleep. When your flesh wants to sit down, you rest it for a while. If you are hurt you go to the doctor. You take care of yourself. You must do the same for your spouse since you are one flesh.
In our society, marriages are being tested as never before, but this should refine and increase our faithfulness to one another.
Faithfulness comes from our submission to God’s order. When one is faithful to God one will be faithful to his or her spouse. Our true love for God enables us also to truly love our spouses. Genuine love cannot be forced or created artificially. Only God’s spirit can bring such love, love that overcomes the forces trying to separate us.
With our own wills we can certainly try to free ourselves from these forces and we may be able to overcome them to a certain degree and for a certain period of time. But ultimately we should remember that only the spirit of love can overcome all negative forces attacking marriages today.
Two separate hearts can only become one if we allow ourselves to be gripped and transformed by something greater than ourselves. You may still struggle with selfishness, disunity, superficiality or other disorder but if we keep our hearts open, the spirit will always lift our eyes to God and His help.
We honour God as on April 30 we celebrated our 21st Anniversary of marriage. God has been good and faithful to us. To my wife Apostle Dr Floe I say I love you more than I did 21 years ago. Happy 21st Anniversary.
Apostle Langton Kanyati is the founder and president of Zoe LCM & Grace Unlimited Ministries. Please email feedback at [email protected]; WhatsApp 0772 987 844.
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