Positive boundaries

Transformation with Mildred 

There is an old Jewish folktale about a devout woman who once invited God to her home. On the appointed day, she eagerly cleaned her house, prepared a grand feast and waited anxiously for His arrival. As she waited, three unexpected visitors came to her door at different times: first, a poor hungry beggar; later, a weary traveller; and finally, an old woman. Each of them asked for food, water, and rest. But in every instance, the woman sent them away, unwilling to let anything interfere with the grand arrival of her most important guest.

Yet God never showed up. Much later, the woman heartbrokenly discovered the truth: it had been God who had visited her three times in disguise — and she had turned Him away.

They say you can only connect the dots looking backwards. All because everything happens for our greatest good. Often, it is only after we have gone through certain situations that we realise how those situations were actually working in our favour. However, the problem with identifying the connections afterwards is that, just like the woman in the story, it may be too late for us.

The woman took deliberate effort to prepare for His Majesty. But here is the greater truth: His Majesty already resides within us. The inner home of our hearts is His dwelling place. However, we may be failing to see His works in us or hear Him speaking to us as much as we should because of two major reasons.

The first one is that we have since constructed a box — and we put God inside it. We say; this is how God must speak to me, this is how He has to bless me, this is how my life should unfold . . .” The woman missed her blessing due to her inability to recognise the divine in unexpected forms. The rigid expectations about God that you and I hold can just be as detrimental.

What if, instead, we sought to recognise His presence in every situation and every person — that person who irritates you, that challenge that stretches you or the storm you simply don’t understand? He is always there, using everything for your greatest good.

The second reason why we fail to encounter Him is that the home in which we are entertaining Him is not to the standard of His Mighty stature. Unlike earthly guests whom we often prepare for before their arrival, this Mighty Guest, the King of Peace is already here, patiently waiting for us to create the right environment for His presence to flourish.

This is where positive boundaries come in. Like the woman in the folktale, we too must learn to close the door — of course not our physical doors to the needy or the vulnerable. It is the door of your heart, your time and your life that should be closed to unworthy guests: anger, resentment, jealousy, addictions, fear, or bitterness. These are the very intruders that disturb the peace inside, keeping God’s light from shining fully within us.

Yes, some unworthy guests gatecrashed a long time ago but it is now high time you sent them packing. Cast out those who have overstayed their welcome. Set the boundaries and set them strong. The Everlasting Guest of Goodness in you cannot be disturbed.

What’s more, you can as well flood your home with virtues that will make your Holy Guest even more comfortable.

Virtues like gratitude, joy, love, kindness, compassion and any form of positivity. It is true you may not understand the reason you are going through that difficult situation, and you may fail to comprehend the good that can ever come out of it. However, this one thing I perfectly understand: where God stays, He blesses! Continue preparing your heart as a worthy home and you will not only endure your trials — you will emerge from them stronger, healthier, happier, and more richly blessed than before!

For feedback contact Mildred Mutize on [email protected]/ +263773637284